Order me a Cheeseburger with chips and salsa please!

So.. I have had a cheeseburger on my mind lately. I can tell you the last time I went to Five Guys and experienced their burger. (a Friday in May) I am not even a burger fan but, I want one. After researching-- I decided that I would meet John at Chili's for dinner before therapy.  I was not going to blog about it because no one would know I was there. But, was I wrong. One of my staff members was there. I had a couple bites of John's grill chicken... Then the immense guilt came over me. I stopped (and we had planned me eating some chicken all along at dinner). It's how cheating occurs. It feels wrong at first then it gets easier. I want every food decision to be thought out.  One day. One step. 

I think my body is ready for surgery. I am losing a little more than a pound a day. I've lost 17 pounds thus far- I am having to space out my meals and liquid intake.. Today my insurance called and asked if I was ready for surgery. She asked a series of questions.. Are you depressed? suicidal? your routine different? I laughed I said you mean am I surviving without food? She laughed. We are going to be okay. 

We also know that my family has a history of malignant hypothermia. I have spent some time today researching since the medical records I have were from 1986!! If you ever go alone and visit Granny Duckett she will tell you about Johnnie. Johnnie was born a few years after dad. Johnnie went to have his tonsils out in 1961 and had a allergic reaction to the anesthetic and he died. Not sure how but, we later learned that my grandparents were carriers of MH. (very rare for both parents to carry it- I think that was God's way of not letting them blame each other). So, after some further testing it was discovered that our family is MH susceptible. The information I learned about today was really cool but, I want to share the info with my family first.  As I am always reminded Genetic Testing is rapidly changing!  MH while it is rare- as long as the hospital is aware then the proper medication  can be available if you have a reaction. 

So day 10. If I am being honest and I am... I am ready for day 14. A new chance at life. And if you get a chance eat a burger for me. ;)