Our adoption story

Our first trip to Mena

Most of my friends know that I prior to my first date with John he revealed over email that our relationship may not go far because he was committed to raising his 2 girls who had profound special needs. I remember I was staying at my friend Julie's house when I read the email. I thought how on earth can I not meet him. I want to meet the man who is the special needs single dad. That following Friday we had our first date. I knew almost instantly God had been preparing me for to meet John. I didn't really know a lot about special needs kids and my experience had been very minimal. A short time later I met both girls. John was convinced I would keep our relationship to just "friendship" once I walk in to his world.  

Spring 2012  Photo by: Crystal Goss

At some point early in our relationship several people close to me would ask me do you think Maddie is John's biological child??  I said of course.. She looks like her mom. (I was blinded by love.) John revealed several months later in to our relationship that Maddie was not his biological child. I was in shocked. I can tell you everything about that moment. He was fearful I might not love her the same or that I would think he was crazy. Well, what happen was it made me realize that it made me love and respect him even more. 

Everyone knows Maddie is a daddy's girl. She loves me and I love her but, her heart belongs to daddy. Lauren is my girl. Lauren and I have some sort of bond that is unexplainable. 

Bridals 2012

 It was important to me that when John felt comfortable with the idea, I wanted to legally adopt the girls. As most of you know the process of adoption is not cheap. There are lots of people who wrote letters to the judge on our behalf. My friend Jayme helped us with the homestudy for the adoption. Our lawyer (Frank) was very helpful in us getting all the right documents together. I should tell you that  not one of our friends would not accept money for their expenses. (Adoptions paperwork minus their fees from the work is still expensive!)

Adoption Day with Judge Huckabee

On October 23, 2012 my life was changed again. I became officially Mama Rho. (In the nanny world I was Nanny Rho.) John legally became Maddie's dad. Those are titles that make life easier from a legal standpoint. 

Maddie and Me Sept. 2013

Lauren and Me Seattle 2013

The decisions and choices that special needs parents make are hard. I could not be a parent without believing in God. It's that simple for me.  I am grateful that John said yes. I am thankful for Maddie and Lauren's biological mom. I am blessed by the support and acceptance of my friends and our family during our good (and bad) times. 

Happy Adoption Day to us! God is good!

Perfection: Not Found Here

I don't talk about the struggles or temptations very much.. They are there. Anyone who walks through life and says they aren't struggling then beware!!!  I feel like though through all my preparations I was warned that there would be some tough times. I don't hate the struggles and I realize that it's part of the process.. 

It's been four months since I have had a soda. I miss it. I miss it alot. Actually, I only miss Dr. Pepper. I don't try to avoid it because it's everywhere. People say oh take one drink and you will find out it's too sweet or your taste buds have changed. Yeah, I don't believe it and it's not worth the risk! No worries- I do not have any plans to try it out anytime soon. 

I also have cookie cravings. I am not even a cookie fan. It's so weird. 

Then there are days when eating (in general) is so challenging. It's okay to not eat all the time. 

My WLS friends warn you about how awkward clothing shopping can be after weight loss. I can't explain it except that everything that felt "normal" for so long feels awkward now and it's mainly with pants. I am going through the same thing with Lauren. She would be happy just wearing gym shorts everyday.. ha! 

We saw one of Maddie's drs this week. He was in complete shock. He wrote down my doctor's name, my information and he was amazed by the results. I find that most doctors are fearful of weight loss surgery. I make a point to share with any doctor that will listen. Not everyone who has surgery has a miserable experience. Does it happen to some? yes. Can miserable experiences happen as part of life? Yes. 

Some people keep suggesting that I am not losing as fast because I am working out with weights. You know the myth that says muscle weighs more than fat? Well, this article here sums it pretty well.

A pound is a pound is a pound—unless you're defying the laws of physics. No substance weighs more then another one unless it actually weighs more. Simply put: One pound of fat weighs the same as one pound of muscle. “The difference is that fat is bulkier than muscle tissue and takes up more space under the skin,” Greenspan says. In fact, one pound of fat is roughly the size of a small grapefruit; one pound of muscle is about the size of a tangerine. But that tangerine is active tissue, meaning that it burns more calories at rest than fat does. 

Honestly, I don't care about how "fast" I am losing it. I feel pretty awesome at the rate of return. No offense to anyone but, losing weight is a slow and steady process. I have never just lost 10 pounds in one month even when I tried. 

Working out is still a good thing. This past week and next week have been super busy. I only worked out once last week but, I knew it was going to be a challenge to make it all work with our crazy life.  

Eating looks like this:
Egg/Sausage/cheese burrito (we make them ourselves)  or leftover dinner
or if we eat out I eat a few bites of omelet with bacon. 
a cup of decaf coffee or decaf tea

Snack:
Banana

lunch
a little bit of Soup, a little bit of sandwich or a protein bar or smoothie

Snack Protein bar or nuts or beef jerky

Dinner
Hit or miss
Seafood when we eat out. 
a few bites of whatever is cooked 
with a glass of  v-8 juice

So, yeah life is not always a bed of roses but, the results of losing 80 pounds makes it so worth it.   No complaining from me. Just the overwhelming feeling of being happy and blessed to have this journey. 

The stories you hear

I was in the car a few weeks ago with my husband when I came across this story. I felt an "internet" connection to Sarah. We share the world of adoption and of course the bond of weight loss surgery. 

You can  click here to read the "quick version with pics".  Basically, this mother and army wife had a lifetime of struggle with being overweight. Some of my overweight friends might understand.. We struggle with back pain, diabetes, high blood pressure, asthma, sleep apnea  bladder problems and the list could on and on.. So, she made the decision to have weight loss surgery and then her husband was deployed for nine months. Of course, they talked on the phone and video chatted… but Sarah would NEVER show below her shoulder/collar bones. He had no clue!  As you can imagine her transformation was incredible. Check out the blog of this fellow weight loss surgery friend. If you want to follow her journey on facebook then click here. 

Sarah, you are inspiring us all with your story. Thank you for sharing. Rhonda