A Time for Everything

It's been one month since I started my liquid diet. It's been 1 month and 2 days since I "enjoyed" the taste of food.. My season right now is mourning. Yes, I am mourning the loss of my friend "Food". She was so enjoyable.. She was easy to find contentment.. She rarely did me wrong.. She probably loved me as much as I loved her. We had a lot of great memories.

And now, the thought of "Food" makes me uneasy. Not enjoyable. It's affected my mood. I tell people I feel great physically... Emotionally and mentally I feel "off". Again, therapy was very helpful this week. For the second week - I allowed myself to real and share deep fears. . My friend Sarah also was an inspiration this week.  My nutritionist was helpful by saying I am right on track. My ob/gyn says when he see's me again I will be half the person. My clothes are not fitting anymore. Lots of great things but, I am choosing to focus negatively. 

I am deeply nervous that I will fail. I am eating 500-800 calories a days and worried about failing. In one month, I have lost a pound a day and deep down I feel like I am maybe failing. All because I am stalling.. Come to find out- I am not alone - it happens.. Right at the 2-3 week mark. Time to make another choice and choose to focus on the good.

The fact is we live in a country where we put a lot of emphasis on food and eating. A lot of food. And I don't fit in with a lot of restaurants anymore. Certain restaurants that I loved seem gross to me now..  Food is a new adventure, I suppose. 

So, my goal is to not be so hyper focused on the scale and to trust God and the professionals.  

as always thanks for reading!

Day 3 of Post op and first day "home"

Type of surgery I had..

First off, I should never doubt my friends support for our family. You guys made the hospital stay bearable.

Overall, I feel good for just having major surgery. Slow, very sore and still groggy. 

I am still on my liquid diet till Monday. We have that covered. It's very challenging for me to drink what I have. I have no hunger and no desire to eat. I just have cottonmouth and some gas.

On top of all this I hurt my knee- very minor scrape but, using my knees to position myself make it very painful. I also stub my pinky toe in the hospital on my IV cart. Bruised and bleed a lot.  So, if I could quit

My minor knee injury

injuring myself maybe I could start focusing on my stomach healing!!   Above in the picture in the incisions. (See I am keeping this real!). 

If you want to bring food for us- just bring enough for John and Lauren (2 servings max). Next week while I will be eating soft/mushy foods- I will be limited and I need to make good food choices..  Each meal I get 1/8 of a cup of two different things. So my portion sizes are way small. My first goal over the week is to work on getting plenty of protein and drinking plenty of water.. 

I am hoping I can quit pain meds tomorrow and once I am off of them then I can drive. I know that will not be today or tomorrow. So, perhaps driving Monday will be more realistic.  I am walking like an elderly person still yet.

NO REGRETS! Thankful to be on the flip side!

The Post Op Review-unedited

I am not going to sugar coat this experience. Because I want people to know the real deal.

Communication about the exact time of surgery was not very clear. (I plan to report this through evalution). We were told Surgery was scheduled for 1pm and found out it was in fact scheduled for 3:55 and started at 5:45.  For several reasons you can imagine- it was not a fun day.. My momma and John stuck by with me! I had a bad headache all day(Monday).. So bad the bright lights and coolness in pre opt- made the headache worse and I was given Valium (twice) and finally post surgery it was gone. The anesthetic drug cocktail they gave me was super strong due to my family history of MH.. That made recover much rougher!! It was after 9 (I think) when I got to my room.. My mom is a caregiver by profession and as you can imagine she was not going  to let me stay alone. I was having some buyers remorse at that moment. I was so thirsty and my mouth was so dry-I was not prepared for that feeling. Morphine doesn't help the thirsty feeling. 

Lessons Learned:

• CALL the business day morning before surgery and confirm time. (I never got a confirmation call).
• Prepare for someone to stay with you the first night. If you don't need it then you can send them home. 
• Ask people to text before visiting. (That was so helpful for me!)
• Bring chapstick! (Thankfully, I was warned)

I woke up feel very un-rested today but, I feel so much better than last night except I was so thirsty. I finally received 1 oz out ice chips every 30 minutes at around 10am.  I also walked around the floor 6+ times. The doctor says I am doing great.  My night nurse says I get clear liquid sat 6 am tomorrow. I am super pumped about that! 

Mama Rho and Lauren

Pretty excited about the new life! No pain- no gain!

Tomorrow we should head home! Super big hugs to all texted, facebook, call or stop by. YOU made the day fly by. Mama Rho is very tired and I will blame the mistakes on the morphine. 

My favorite simple Coffee Protein Shake

For those who missed it... Here it is again..

4 ounces of decaf coffee

4 ounces of skim milk or water

2 sugar substitute packets

1-2 scoops of vanilla protein powder (lots of people say chocolate is delish too)

5 ice cubes (more if you like a thicker consistency) 

Blend and drink!

Crock pot Chicken Stock / Broth Recipe!

As you know - I am preparing for weight loss surgery and I am on a two week liquid diet. My hubby, John, is on weight watchers and so we are learning to find meals we both can enjoy. Here is a crucial ingredient to lots of soups!

Chicken Stock/Broth. I was told broth traditionally doesn't include salt but it does include meat.. ANYWAYS.. It's is so easy to make! Homemade is so much better and yet we settle for the can!!!  NO MORE! We even make ours in a crock pot!

John found this recipe at Everyday Maven and we tweak it.. I am making several batches to have in the freezer- and it's so tasty it's no surprise they are the base to several more recipes I plan to post this week/weekend! 

• One 3½ to 5 lb chicken (with meat, bones & skin), cut up

• 2 teaspoons to 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

• water to cover plus about 1″

• 8 to 10″ lemongrass, sliced in half (I use the freeze dried)

• 3 to 4 shallots, cut in half lengthwise (skin on)

• 1 head garlic, cut in half across the middle (skin on)

• 3 to 4″ ginger root, peeled and sliced lengthwise

• 1 bunch scallions, white and darks separated, whites cut lengthwise (greens reserved for soup)

2 to 3 tablespoons Kosher Salt

• 
  
  
  Of course you can also add carrots, celery, green onions and more! Put in the crock pot on low and walk away for 8-10 hours!  
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• After the stock is done cooking turn off the heat and, we pick out the big stuff and used a strainer to remove all herbs/bones/etc. (We actually used the cooked chicken for something else.)
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• Either refrigerate or freeze the stock for future use. I plan to freeze some in both 1 and 2-cup portions, and I also plan to freeze stock in ice cube trays just in case I just “need a little” for making sauce or rice. 

So, that's all folks. You can do it! 

Original Recipe Inspiration came from Everyday Maven

Order me a Cheeseburger with chips and salsa please!

So.. I have had a cheeseburger on my mind lately. I can tell you the last time I went to Five Guys and experienced their burger. (a Friday in May) I am not even a burger fan but, I want one. After researching-- I decided that I would meet John at Chili's for dinner before therapy.  I was not going to blog about it because no one would know I was there. But, was I wrong. One of my staff members was there. I had a couple bites of John's grill chicken... Then the immense guilt came over me. I stopped (and we had planned me eating some chicken all along at dinner). It's how cheating occurs. It feels wrong at first then it gets easier. I want every food decision to be thought out.  One day. One step. 

I think my body is ready for surgery. I am losing a little more than a pound a day. I've lost 17 pounds thus far- I am having to space out my meals and liquid intake.. Today my insurance called and asked if I was ready for surgery. She asked a series of questions.. Are you depressed? suicidal? your routine different? I laughed I said you mean am I surviving without food? She laughed. We are going to be okay. 

We also know that my family has a history of malignant hypothermia. I have spent some time today researching since the medical records I have were from 1986!! If you ever go alone and visit Granny Duckett she will tell you about Johnnie. Johnnie was born a few years after dad. Johnnie went to have his tonsils out in 1961 and had a allergic reaction to the anesthetic and he died. Not sure how but, we later learned that my grandparents were carriers of MH. (very rare for both parents to carry it- I think that was God's way of not letting them blame each other). So, after some further testing it was discovered that our family is MH susceptible. The information I learned about today was really cool but, I want to share the info with my family first.  As I am always reminded Genetic Testing is rapidly changing!  MH while it is rare- as long as the hospital is aware then the proper medication  can be available if you have a reaction. 

So day 10. If I am being honest and I am... I am ready for day 14. A new chance at life. And if you get a chance eat a burger for me. ;)

Feeling a bit soupy

And here we are the end of day 6. Tomorrow is the halfway point.

The last few days have definitely had their challenges. No hunger pains but, I can tell that I need to be drinking more shakes and working toward better intake. It's hard because you try to go

about life as normal except it's not.  It's like at times I feel like a stranger in this world. My clarity has been really off. So, today I found a few things that gave me joy from my old life with a new twist. 

• At Sonic you can get a Route 44 water with lemon for .44 cents. I have really enjoyed lemon water this summer. 
  
  
• I also am discovering if you order right then you are not stuck with nothing. I even learned about a few Starbucks drinks..  It does require checking the nutrition facts-but, I need to be checking it anyhow! So, should you!
  
• Family time. I love seeing my girls happy and full of smiles.. 

I got out of the house and spent time with a fellow surgery friend. Weight Loss Surgery Winners are full of knowledge. Each person's journey is different. Every experience is different. Every doctor has their own method.. Therapists say “strong relationships grow under stress, weak relationships grow apart or fail". 

Cream of Tomato Soup

I am thankful for my dear husband, family, friends, staff and peers who love me for being fat. I don't feel much judgement. Actually, I always say I lived the happiest fat life. Lots of my friends can't say that. My surgery is not about what's on the inside- Inside I am happy but, my body needs to last a while and I want to continue to do great things- and so I need to lose weight so I feel better. My body is tired of carrying around this extra weight. 

This weekend John is cooking up different soups. He started with a Chicken Stock by scratch. He made it overnight in the crockpot. It was heavenly. Then with the stock he made cream of tomato soup. Now he is working on French Onion Soup. Tomorrow we are going to finish the evening with Broccoli cheese soup. Mostly low calorie, low carb and low fat and best of all freezable.

We are crossing our fingers that Lauren gets to go to Camp Aldersgate again the week of my surgery. It's a long shot but, we are hoping it all works out. We won't know till the last minute- So, say a prayer that would really help us. 

till tomorrow...

The ups and downs of this journey..

Sigh..

Here is the deal. Evenings overall is super challenging for me during this phase. I am tired, my body is in shock and my brain is dead. I am nauseated a lot right now. I carry a pepto bottle with me (and 2 whole wheat reduce fat crackers <cheating) and I had to adjust my acid reflux medication. By night time, I hate shakes and just want to crawl into bed. Several friends suggest PB2. I ordered it last night. Powdered Peanut Butter sounds yuck but, I trust my friends.. 

Also, traveling is really hard. Even to my own families house. And I didn't have a bad time- it's just easier being home. Exercise is challenging- It drains me completely. Must figure out how to balance it. Drained Rhonda can created snappy-mean Rhonda or crying Rhonda. 

But, then I wake up in the mornings and I remember the goal and the reward. The reward of LIFE! I feel renewed and refreshed. Today's inspiration from Jesus Calling is spot on again. "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him" Psalms 34:8

Numbers...  
Weight lost since June 20th  13.6 lbs   (WHAT! This is crazy!)
Calorie intake 1000-1200  (No wonder body is in shock!!!)

Lots are asking how you can help... That post is coming soon. My sweet husband is going to cook me some soup from scratch this weekend. I am getting together with my friend A who had weight loss surgery years ago (our surgery dates will be the same). To those who did this with  out support. You are much stronger than me. 

I can't thank you for your continued support and prayer enough.

Let's do it!  

Day One- Pre Op Diet

Ahhh! I made it! We have 13 days to go. Day 1 was what I called a success. And I didn't have to apologize to any of my friends for my unkind words. I had a physical this morning. Just happen to be scheduled. My doctor is Dr. Robertson. She came in and sat down and listened. She is so happy for me. So supportive.. Speaking of support - I had a lot of friends call, text, email, message me... You have no idea how much that means to me. I worked from 11a-530p today. So, I think I did okay. I felt great. My headache started around 7 and I think it's just bed time. No exercise today but, mentally I kicked butt. So, again we will try tomorrow. 

So, here we are by the numbers.
I had 57 grams of Protein
I had 51 ounces of water
I had 930 Calories
I am not a person who shares the numbers of my weight.. But, it's time because we are going to say good bye to each set of the next digits.  When I decided to make a change in my life I weighted 350 pounds. <<<not going back up>>> I have lost 15 pounds since I decided to start this journey. So, yeah, I needed to desperately make a change in my life!  

So not a bad first day. I had 3 protein drinks, bowl of tomato soup and some yummy sugar free jello. 

Best thing I had was: AdvantaEdge Carb Control Strawberry Cream Protien Drink
Worst thing: sugar free Strawberry Shaved Ice (threw it away)
My secret Power: Sugar Free Gum! 

Tomorrow's goal: Drink 70 ounces of water. 60 grams of protein. 30 minutes of walking

We did it friends. We made it through the first day and no one got hurt. Again, love you and thanks for rooting for me!