8 months post op

So, I started several posts and never actually completed them. I am not doing a very good job at blogging. Motherhood, Full time school, a "part time" job that is really full time and life is my excuse.

In my post that I never posted I said this:

Okay, top right was Oct. 2012,
Bottom left was July 2013,
the other photo was Feb 2014.
This shirt no longer fits!!!!

I feel that I am doing okay. I am 7+ months post op from the Gastric Sleeve Surgery at Baptist Hospital in Little Rock. And I am celebrating 105 pound GONE.  I was barely fitting in a 26/28 and now I am in a 18/20.

 I feel like I spent 2 months trying to clear the 100 pound hurdle. But, I woke up one day I was actually out of the 250's and was down 105 pounds. One year ago, I was 353 pounds. I was in a bad shape. I wasn't honest with my life or myself a year ago.. I was merrily surviving.  I have 3 friends who are going through pre op preparing for surgery. I have to keep myself in check because I want to jump up and down and scream "You are making the BEST decision of your life"!! And for me, it has been the right decision for me.

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So, we are 8 months post op today and I still wanna scream "best decision ever!!" How do I feel? Great. I am so thankful to be where I am at today. My PCP and my ob/gyn also feel that I am doing good. We are all in agreement that I am in a much better place health wise.  I am very close to being at the size I was in high school. I have no idea what I really was weight wise. I am also going to bypass my husband and my brother's weight and I have a feeling there will there will start some healthy competition begin.

My wedding weekend in May 2012 (size 3x shirt) and Feb 2014.

People are concerned my stomach will stretch back out. Well, here is what I know: Somedays I can eat a lot. I mean like a lot. Like breakfast, non fat latte, skinny cow bar, smoothie, half sandwich, chips, popcorn and a dr. pepper. Somedays 2 bites of any meal I choose and I am in misery. There are more meals that are a few bites than than the "eating a lot" days. I definitely make bad decisions some days. Snow days at home with my family are a guarantee bust. But, you know what my worst day now eating is probably better than my best day 1-2-3-4-10 years ago. So, I do not dwell on it. Plus it's all in moderation. My sleeve/stomach has attitude and sometimes I eat something and have no problems and a week later- I eat the same thing and feel miserable.

So, what is the progress like?  Remember they say you do the best in the first 6 months. So, I am on the "slower" period of weight loss. I am very happy with my progress thus far though. The truth is it's hard to tell when I lost 50 pounds but, now people can tell every 10 pounds I lose. That's good cause I need encouragement!  

I am in the 240's. (it's silly to post an exact number because it changes every day up and down) (110 +/-  pounds lost)
I am in a size 18 but, can wiggle my hips into a size 16. I am in a XL shirt but, still feel self conscious. My 2x shirts is too big. I have quite the chest and we do not expect I will lose as much there. That's ok I am not afraid of breast reduction surgery!! I also have some extra skin to pass along to anyone needing it.

The non scale victories are lots of fun!

February 28th and December 28th

Ring size was a size 8 and had to resize my ring to 6.5!!!!
My photos from 2 months ago show major progress. Check out the photo --->
I am down at least half size in shoes.  (was a 10 and now between 9 1/2 and 9). One foot is bigger than the other..
Unofficially (my husband isn't home to measure me) I have lost 56 inches in various parts of my body.
My chest, hips, belly 13+ inches gone.


It's becoming challenging to measure the inches with the loose skin and I could really wear spanx all day and be okay. That means I have a lot of firming up to do. aka I need to get back to working out on regular basis..

I still miss food. But, food doesn't comfort me or make me feel better. People have told me I make the journey look easy. I am glad to hear that. It's much easier than being fat but, I would not use the term easy. Nothing about weight loss is easy. It's hard work. It doesn't matter if you have 10 pounds to lose or 200 pounds it's hard work. I want to continue to encourage people to step up to the challenge and do something stop surrounding yourself around negative people/haters. I once read:  “Success is a journey, and the road to get there isn’t easy. There will be those who say you can’t make it, ‘it’s too tough’, or that you’re not strong enough, others will try to challenge your strength and try to knock you off and some will refuse to get out of your way. Success is a journey, and for me – it was worth the wait”

To my supporters who encourage me often- thank you. It's means a lot to me and as my dad always says keep on, keeping on. 

twitter.com/mamabensen
http://instagram.com/mamabensen
https://www.facebook.com/rhondad

New Year's Goal: "be more awesome than last year"

I showed up to D1 yesterday. I had not been since early December. I could not find a parking spot. I was like what the heck is happening. Then I walked inside and MY gym had become filled with all those "weight loss resolution people". I was bitter at first. I even asked Josh- what is going on. Then after running for a few minutes during warm up I realized that I needed to be supportive of my fellow gym friends because the fact is majority of them will stop going and I want people to be healthy and feel better. I missed working out. I can't believe I said that. But, I do and I like feeling slightly sore. We have discussed switching gyms to somewhere closer to home but, I am not ready. I am thankful my husband let's me do what I am comfortable with. I laugh as I write. The gym for athletes is wear I am most comfortable. 

It's Thursday. Six months ago, I woke up with buyer's remorse. Surgery day (6 months plus 1 day ago) was in fact the worst day of my entire experience. I am so thankful for my husband and my mom for being my support that today. I had a bad headache the day of surgery that the strongest of meds wouldn't touch. I went into the surgery and asked to be put to sleep so I wouldn't cry from the pain from my headache. My surgery was scheduled for 1ish and didn't happen till 6ish. My family has a history of sensitivity toward anesthesia and I was no different. I finally woke up and remember things about 5am the next day. My mom can tell you stories about my "recovery".  I tell you this because my story is unique- everyone has a different experience. But, I know that I had to have pain in order to have progress. Funny, how that works. 

Lots of folks want results without change. I am the same way. I stopped working out because I got busy with the holidays and work. I noticed that while I was "seeing progress" my skin was getting wrinkled in places. Believe me, I have accepted wrinkles will come but, let's minimize it. 

I started a vision/action board many years ago. I saw on mindtools.com this quote "The physical act of writing down a goal makes it real and tangible. You have no excuse for forgetting about it. As you write, use the word "will" instead of "would like to" or "might."  This is our families vision board. It's by my bed. Here is a good link about creating vision boards. You can google action and vision boards to learn how to make one. One of my goal is to 8 pounds a month to meet my ideal weight. Another goal is to do some video blogging. This is a stretch for me- I hate my voice on video. Some of my goals are simple and attainable- some are outlandish like, winning the lottery.  

Of course, simply writing something down dooes not make it happen. There has to be action on your part. You can do it. Lots of people think goals or new year's resolutions are cliche. I understand it but, I refuse to think that way. I am worth the change and the effort and so are you. 

My 6 month monthly update will be coming soon. For now, I am celebrating my success from 2013 (94 pounds). As of today, 97 pounds. 

2013 Success! 

Perfection: Not Found Here

I don't talk about the struggles or temptations very much.. They are there. Anyone who walks through life and says they aren't struggling then beware!!!  I feel like though through all my preparations I was warned that there would be some tough times. I don't hate the struggles and I realize that it's part of the process.. 

It's been four months since I have had a soda. I miss it. I miss it alot. Actually, I only miss Dr. Pepper. I don't try to avoid it because it's everywhere. People say oh take one drink and you will find out it's too sweet or your taste buds have changed. Yeah, I don't believe it and it's not worth the risk! No worries- I do not have any plans to try it out anytime soon. 

I also have cookie cravings. I am not even a cookie fan. It's so weird. 

Then there are days when eating (in general) is so challenging. It's okay to not eat all the time. 

My WLS friends warn you about how awkward clothing shopping can be after weight loss. I can't explain it except that everything that felt "normal" for so long feels awkward now and it's mainly with pants. I am going through the same thing with Lauren. She would be happy just wearing gym shorts everyday.. ha! 

We saw one of Maddie's drs this week. He was in complete shock. He wrote down my doctor's name, my information and he was amazed by the results. I find that most doctors are fearful of weight loss surgery. I make a point to share with any doctor that will listen. Not everyone who has surgery has a miserable experience. Does it happen to some? yes. Can miserable experiences happen as part of life? Yes. 

Some people keep suggesting that I am not losing as fast because I am working out with weights. You know the myth that says muscle weighs more than fat? Well, this article here sums it pretty well.

A pound is a pound is a pound—unless you're defying the laws of physics. No substance weighs more then another one unless it actually weighs more. Simply put: One pound of fat weighs the same as one pound of muscle. “The difference is that fat is bulkier than muscle tissue and takes up more space under the skin,” Greenspan says. In fact, one pound of fat is roughly the size of a small grapefruit; one pound of muscle is about the size of a tangerine. But that tangerine is active tissue, meaning that it burns more calories at rest than fat does. 

Honestly, I don't care about how "fast" I am losing it. I feel pretty awesome at the rate of return. No offense to anyone but, losing weight is a slow and steady process. I have never just lost 10 pounds in one month even when I tried. 

Working out is still a good thing. This past week and next week have been super busy. I only worked out once last week but, I knew it was going to be a challenge to make it all work with our crazy life.  

Eating looks like this:
Egg/Sausage/cheese burrito (we make them ourselves)  or leftover dinner
or if we eat out I eat a few bites of omelet with bacon. 
a cup of decaf coffee or decaf tea

Snack:
Banana

lunch
a little bit of Soup, a little bit of sandwich or a protein bar or smoothie

Snack Protein bar or nuts or beef jerky

Dinner
Hit or miss
Seafood when we eat out. 
a few bites of whatever is cooked 
with a glass of  v-8 juice

So, yeah life is not always a bed of roses but, the results of losing 80 pounds makes it so worth it.   No complaining from me. Just the overwhelming feeling of being happy and blessed to have this journey. 

The stories you hear

I was in the car a few weeks ago with my husband when I came across this story. I felt an "internet" connection to Sarah. We share the world of adoption and of course the bond of weight loss surgery. 

You can  click here to read the "quick version with pics".  Basically, this mother and army wife had a lifetime of struggle with being overweight. Some of my overweight friends might understand.. We struggle with back pain, diabetes, high blood pressure, asthma, sleep apnea  bladder problems and the list could on and on.. So, she made the decision to have weight loss surgery and then her husband was deployed for nine months. Of course, they talked on the phone and video chatted… but Sarah would NEVER show below her shoulder/collar bones. He had no clue!  As you can imagine her transformation was incredible. Check out the blog of this fellow weight loss surgery friend. If you want to follow her journey on facebook then click here. 

Sarah, you are inspiring us all with your story. Thank you for sharing. Rhonda

What a difference a year makes..

I mentioned in a recent post that one year ago this week, I made a decision to figure out a way to be healthier. I went to a seminar about weight loss surgery.. I talked with my PCP and she was on board with me getting healthy.. or as I would say to become less fat..

I want to just say- I am thankful for the compliments and acknowledgements. A lot of days, I smile and say thanks. I don't expect people walk around and hand out compliments to me. While this journey is a physical one - I hope my friends know that I am not that vain and a lot of days it's hard to admit that I allowed myself to get where I was. So, thank you for reading my blog and asking for updates and most of all for loving me at my highest weight and my current weight. I truly appreciate it. 

My friend Brent warned me about the haters out there. You know those people. They talk to others about your weight loss "surgery" and the fact that you posted on facebook you wearing jeans 4 size smaller..  I really wish those folks would delete me as a friend or get a life. But, I know that there isn't much I can do but, keep plugging along. Those people are why most people keep surgery a secret. Their sweet lil secret.. Honestly, those people can kiss my..... There is a reason why people say "Haters gonna hate". 

I dated a guy many years ago and his parents warned him the great danger of dating someone fat. I think that is about the dumbest thing to say. But, yes it is dangerous to be overweight. (to clarify I think it was more of social fear than my general health.) Cleary, I remembered that statement and the impact of those words.

So, on the road to being healthy and less "dangerous"..  This photo on the right was adoption day for John and I. I remember seeing these pictures and thinking I will put these pics on my wall with my wedding and honeymoon pictures- Happy and joyful times while being fat and really unhealthy (and dangerous). This will motivate me and remind me that yes, I was happy but, not healthy. Time for a change. A radical change!

One year motivated..  That's how I feel today. We are a few days away from my 3 month surgery anniversary. So, where am I?? I lost 15.2 pounds this month. whoa. WHAT??

Highest weight 353 +

Current Weight 278.4 (I triple checked it!)

TOTAL weight loss 74.6 pounds
BMI points lost  (since highest weight) 11.6

Total Inches Lost since 6/21/13 (Measuring fat is not easy!!)

• Chest 10 inches (3 inches last month!!!!!!)
• Arms 5 inches (In the beginning my left was smaller by 2  inches now they are about an inch apart)
• Bust  7.5 inches
• Hips 8 inches 
• Belly button region 9.5 inches (2.5 inches this month)
• Thighs 4 inches

Where I feel the most difference?  All over but, with clothes my butt and certain shoes. 

Goals for last month

Well, I had to make adjustments. Drinking more water but, not really keeping track. Being more proactive about adding veggies and fruit in my diet.  Working out 3-4 days a week is all my schedule allows right now. I am doing better with running but, I have not ran as much.. For the first time ever-- I am doing the elliptical for warm up. I have improved so much in my working out routines. Makes me feel proud because lots of folks only use an elliptical for working out and it's my warm up!!   Remember what I call county fair days at D1? (click here to read more about my first experience)?? (County fair is where you do mini station work outs for 30 seconds then move on- you can do anything for 30 seconds, right? Sometime, the coach changes the music every 30 seconds.. Intense and good for you!) I am going to say I almost rocked it this past week. I completed most of the challenges or stations and felt good. A great piece of advice from D1 was to eat a banana on my way to work out. Wow, I felt so much better!!!!  

I also had a goal to motivate others when I was given the opportunity. I appreciate all my friends who have shared this blog with their friends who complemtating weight loss surgery. I hope this helps them. When skinny or in shape strangers come up to me and tell me they read my blog, I get embarrassed and think why is that skinny person reading my blog.. Then I remember one day I will be healthy (and hopefully skinnier) and some overweight person will motivate me on why going to the gym is important. For now, I have my photos on my wall to remind me daily. 

Goals this month..  I want to continue making progress. When you look at the numbers and progress this month was incredible month. A dream come true. I saw my pcp the other day and I could tell by her response she was proud of my success. I am too- I have worked hard.  But, I also know there is a lot of people less fortunate than me and I know that I am blessed beyond measure... A second chance on life. 

Mid Month Update..

So for the next 8 weeks I will also be blogging about my experience with "Burn it 2 Earn it". Burn it 2 Earn it is a weight loss challenge that started on September 16th and ends November 16th.  I am not a person that likes to compete. Even with this workout challenge- I feel like my biggest enemy is myself. I think for a lot of people this is true. 

I started working out at D1 one month ago. I really wasn't sure that I really needed this type working out element. It felt a little intense and hard core. But, I worked out 1 day that week-- 2 days the next week and I worked out at D1 4 days last week. I am a believer. I need to be purposeful or intense if I am going to meet my long term goals!

Clearly, I stepped up my game by adding in the workouts. Working out has change my entire weight loss journey. It feels weird to say that but, its true.  I think as humans we don't want others succeed in where we have failed. What a waste! I am thankful that I am surrounded constantly by people who are encouraging me every step of the way.  It's also a key to my success.  This month I have lost approx 7 pounds. I am hoping for 10 pound loss by the end of the month! 

Non Scale Victories...

• I was solidly in a 26/28 clothing at the beginning of this journey. I am wearing mostly 22's and I even had a dress on the was 18/20 this week.
• My balance and physical endurance has improved greatly.
• While all of my workouts and trainings are still modified - my physical ability has improved.
• The whole reason this journey began was because we realize I was suffering from neck vertebrae separation and lower back issues due to weight. While I am have soreness from working out on a regular basis- I am not hurting anymore!
• I zipped up a raincoat the other day that I have never been able to zip up!!!!!!! 

I have also realized the importance of weight training. It's actually a huge part of melting off fat. I know- we have all been told lifting weights will make you gain weight or that it will "make you bigger".. Check your sources. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, a mere 21 percent of women strength train two or more times a week. What you don't know: When you skip the weight room, you lose out on the ultimate flab melter. Those two sessions a week can reduce overall body fat by about 3 percentage points in just 10 weeks, even if you don't cut a single calorie. That translates to as much as three inches total off your waist and hips. Even better, all that new muscle pays off in a long-term boost to your metabolism, which helps keep your body lean and sculpted.  (To continue reading more click here.) (and whoa!)

I am hoping to have a blog more about strength training soon! We started with some weight training this week.. I was so scared of the weight room but, I have decided that day by day I will conquer it. I was also recently told this: "Since fear is mostly about ignorance, the best part is that it's as temporary as you choose." My batwings (arm fat) need to leave permanently. 

Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt mentally "off"? Like everything is going
okay but, you can't seem to get motivated or feel excited? That was me this past week. I wasn't depressed but, I was not roaring to go..  Not a feeling I am used to feeling. I assume it could be a number of things.. I realized tonight that I missed a nutrition class at D1 today. I was so pumped for the class and I had it in my calendar or so I thought. uggh.. Now that I have started blogging I wonder if it's a ADHD issue.. Sigh..   Anyways,  I also spent the weekend trying out a few new recipes.. Here is a sneak peak. This is my breakfast "casserole". (It's healthy too!) I will post the recipe this week. 

Till next time.. 

Hear Me RoaR

Here we are! Month two post weight loss surgery!
The best month yet! 

August proved to be very challenging! I spent 2 weeks stalling because I was not eating right. (I was not eating enough!) Happy to report the stall is over! My friend, Andrew, reached out to me and encouraged me to give D1 a shot! 

Victories:
Clothing.. Everything except socks and shoes hardly fit!!!  Remember those capri's in this picture (photo taken in late July then today)! They are now loose on me! That shirt is very loose and almost too big feeling (check out the arms)! I also  had to buy workout clothing! 

Energy... Working out (and Physical Therapy) IS changing my life. I am the most uncoordinated person but, I feel great!  Strength and Balance has improved too.. Not too mention I feel more confident. (Thanks Nick for reminding me of that!) 

Another major achievement: My face. (I have no make up in the current photos- actually we just got back from a walk!)  Notice how it is "toned"? When I shared with my friend Leslie that I needed product to help my face remain youthful during the weight loss journey... Picture after picture of weight loss patients have faces that droop and age!  She shared with me actual photos of someone who went through WLS and used Rodan and Fields... I wasn't sure if it would be worth the investment but, I knew I wanted a youthful face.. I can hide sagging arms and belly! Rodan and Fields is keeping its promise!!!  You can learn more about Rodan and Fields by clicking here or ask me about it! I will wear makeup in next month's photos!

You want the details and numbers... Here you go! 

Highest weight 353

Current Weight 293

Total Inches Lost since 6/21/13 (Measuring fat is hard!)
Arms (right) 4.75 
Bust 7 inches
Hips 7 inches (1 1/2 in 30 days)
Thighs 3 inches

According to my phone app that Monitor's my Weight loss.. My BMI value has went down 8 points! 

Where I feel the most difference? arms!

Goals for August! COMPLETED

To be never in the 300's when I weigh-in (praise the Lord-D1 took care of that!)

More exercise!! (major improvement- worked out 4 days this week!)
More Protein! (Much improved!!)

Get medications straightened out!! (also better but, back on reflux meds)

Continue therapy!  (It's going well too!)

In this picture- this is the shirt I bought at The Rack (Nordstorm's) in Seattle in March (did not fit) and here is the difference! This was a proud moment! You can't tell but, in July my arms (and obviously my belly) were bulging out! 

New Goals!

-Continue new ways to find protein

-Drink 100 ounces of water a day

- Workout 5 days a week!

-Jog 4 laps around the d1 track without stopping!!! (When I started I could jog 1/4 of a lap and just the other day I did almost 2 laps)

-Encourage anyone who will listen to make a plan to be healthy. DO something today. 

March 2014 Run a 5k!!!! No desire to run on a regular basis but, my friend Sarah encouraged me think about it and I think WHY NOT????

My friends (and I want to name specifically name my facebook fam, Brent, Angie, Shana, Sarah, My staff at work, Andrew, Sonya, Jessica, Leslie, D1 people, my family, my husband and my blog readers) your encouragement has meant so much me and truly carried me through this month. Thank you. 

The next blog will be about my current food choices and life with no "medical" restrictions.. 

Lots of Love from the Losers Bench!!!

Physical Therapy at D-1

I am suffering today.. My arms are very sore from PT yesterday..  

Little Rock D-1 offers Physical Therapy through St. Vincent's.. My insurance covers it!! I am working on my balance (it's really off since surgery and weight loss) and learning about exercises that will help make my knees and back problems stronger.  I spent one hour doing a variety of things.. 

Including riding a bike, doing leg lifts, balancing on 1 foot while 

holding a pipe filled with water, working my obliques with the weight machine, using "shackles" on my feet while doing lunges, a big rubber band that I held with my feet and lifted over my head (that killed my arms!!).. We also did some exercises on the yoga ball.
          

I never thought of Physical Therapy as a work out. Not to worry-- I now give Josh (D1 PT) complete respect. It's no walk in the park or "day off from working out"..

Challenges along the way..

I know without a doubt my biggest challenge is mental- Mind over Matter..  

I am realizing that it's so challenging to drink enough water- to feel hydrated- especially working out. It's so important but, first off there is no more gulping- just sipping water... 

Then I know I need to eat more but, a few bites and I am full. Something salty like cheap pizza- I would rather drink water.. And something really sweet- is just too much.. I am just a real piece of work at this point. 

And then I start thinking - what if this weight loss is not working.. I know how stupid is it to let negativity creep back-- I should wear a shirt saying I am proud of me-- I have lost 47 pound in 2 months  that is a major accomplishment yet, when I look in the mirror I don't see it. Yes, yes this is something for the therapist. Sometimes I need to be reminded this is my journey to be healthy. That's it.

I also really want to empower people to take back control of their health. Just one step one day.. I know stop laughing - it's a whole lot contradictory. 

And I get people being embarrassed about being overweight.. One of my friends says yesterday- I could never go to D-1- I mean I can barely run 4 miles. I wanted to say without using lots of expletives "Shut up- I have never ran 4 miles- wait I can't run at all! If you can run 4 freaking miles- you can go work out." Negativity hits everyone and sound absolutely ridiculous to the others who are hearing it. 

I have friends who encourage me everyday- one friend who I have not spoken to since my wedding - sent me a card. I have a huge team of folks (probably you) who keeping me going.. Thank you, Jesus. I am thankful- for you- for those of you who encourage me daily- and for Jesus.  

A Place to Belong

I made a decision on my way to workout today- If I don't finish- I will stay for the whole workout. D-1 is a supportive team environment-and I am a part of this team.  

So, I walked back into D-1 today and felt at home.  I am just going to say what I shouldn't say- Yes, yes I am a 290  something pound obese working mother who drives 40 minutes to work out with a group of people in the middle of the day! Yes, the workouts have to mostly be modified for me. But, that's okay. I

showed up and gave it my all. That's what counts, right?  Today, I kept seeing the words perseverance, dedication, integrity, focus and finally pain is weakness leaving the body..  Todays warms up were like last time (Click here to read about my first time at D-1).. But the majority of the workout was very different.. It involved a weight bar lifting, disc weights, sprints and some fancy footwork. I am dead serious when I say" I had to modify it all. I actually made it 45 minutes (maybe 50 minutes) without my body screaming stoooop. You know what's really cool is that your teammates want you to succeed- everyone is very encouraging! It also feels really fun. There are all sorts of athletic levels at my workout.. 

So, if I can do (modified and all)  this YOU can too..  Stop making excuses and start taking care of yourself!!!  The decision to be healthy- is never easy. Working out is part of the decision. It's not easy.. Nothing about being overweight is easy. I believe in you! 

We all have excuses of why we don't work out. But, my friend Andrew says I am going to get the workout bug or fitness training bug and then I will be unstoppable... I can't wait. 

Day 1 of the D-1 experience

It's late. I am tired and sore- so this will be short and sweet.  Andrew was right! The experience was awesome. It was addicting.. The people are encouraging.. And boy howdy, do you feel the work-out.

Background info on D-1:
D1 is The Place for The Athlete.  They provide custom training programs, expert coaching and the latest in physical therapy, all in a motivating, high-energy environment. Every person who walks through the doors of this state-of-the-art facilities is trained and treated like an elite athlete.  D1's athletic-based, motivating atmosphere is designed for student-athletes and adults to receive the D1 Experience via their replication of top college/pro training environments and facilities.  D1 places a strong emphasis on developing positive character, core values and self-esteem, ingraining character building in every workout. Profanity, negativity and tardiness are prohibited at D1. Click here to check out Little Rock D-1.

My thoughts:

D-1 is serious, motivating, positive and hard work. They use everyday tools to help you be your best. This is

not dancing or movement class or walk around and get your heart rate up.. This is a fast paced training environment where you might or might not cry 30 minutes into because you physically can't go another step- they encourage you EVERY step of the way- even if when your only half done. They were so glad I just showed up. I will not lie.. I completed warm ups (jogging 4 laps, doing lunges and other activities I can't really describe then we did "mini station work outs".   There were 2 -5 exercises I could do. There were 2-5 exercises I couldn't do.. and 2-5 I just didn't do because of my tiredness. As my leader (Tish) says "listen to your body"- so I made it roughly 30 minutes. Tish said.. I would be tired tomorrow. She was wrong. I was tired 15 minutes after I left... I am pretty worn out.

Hey, I did waaay more today than I have done in years. Ladies and gentlemen we will call this success.  But, I am going back. Actually, I am joining a Burn it 2 Earn it weight loss challenge at D-1. So, it looks like I will be sticking around till the holidays. Come join me. If I can do it then so can YOU!!

FEAR (just a 4 letter F word)

We fear the thing(s) we want the most. Why is that?  Have you ever been so afraid of failing at something that you decided not to try it at all? Or has a fear of failure meant that, subconsciously, you undermined your own efforts to avoid the possibility of a larger failure?  I mean I am sure most of my readers have experienced this at one time or another. The fear of failing can be immobilizing – it can cause us to do nothing, and therefore resist moving forward. 

But when we allow fear to stop our forward progress in life, we're likely to miss some great opportunities along the way.

A few weeks ago- one my former co-workers asked me if I wanted to work out at D-1. For those of you like me-allow me to explain--- D-1 Sports Training (A Place For THE ATHLETE) is an athletic training complex that does like NFL combines  and they are generally owned by athletes like Peyton Manning, Michael Oher, Tim Tebow and the one in Little Rock is co-owned by Jermain Taylor. I am not an athlete. No one uses that word to describe me. 

And then the stories begin in my head.. I don't have the clothes to work out. What if I am the fattest girl ever to work out at D-1? What if the people there think I took the "easy way" out?  What if I collapse after 3 minutes? What if...... Wait- what am I scared of? Failure? Failure would be not trying. It's mind over matter.  I need to become...

Andrew (who was a UCA soccer player and works at D-1) has faith that this is good for me. He believes in me. Actually, everyone I tell that I am considering this-says that's awesome and I can do it.  When I tell Andrew my fears.. he says just the words I needed to hear:  "Don't. Worry. About. It. Seriously. People come in all sorts of different fitness levels and strengths. As long as you can beat your embarrassment you'll fit in perfectly".  Deep breathes.. tomorrow at 11:00 I have a date at legit gym.. with a real person and a whole lotta work out....

We all know my end goal is to be healthy. Not to be perfect.  One step- one day- pound by pound- the transformation will continue... 

and so As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

One Month (and some) Anniversary of Surgery. Where are we?

Photo on the Left was taken today. Photo on right was taken
on surgery day. (July 9th)

August is super busy for me. School begins.. I work longer hours.. And this month we several drs appointments happening right in the middle of everything. I realize it's been a week since I've blogged. Actually started this on Friday.. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to announce we have a breakthrough.. And some exciting results.. 

Victories:

Clothing.. down a complete size and then some.. I actually bought some clothes to wear for the fall when I get to that size.. 

I am off my acid reflux meds. 

I am suppose to be limiting my NSAIDs meds.. This is really hard.. I am cutting back but, it's rough.. Tylenol doesn't cut it! 

Starting Weight VS Today:  
350 (ish) and today 299.1 (this varies between morning and night +/- 3 pounds) 

Inches lost as of today:  (since 6/21)

Chest 7.5 inches

Bust 6 inches

Hips 5.5 inches

Belly button 7 inches

Where I feel the most difference? my hips

In this picture- you can hardly see my knees today! 

Goals for next month: To be never in the 300's when I weigh-in-- right now, it's on the border and I want them gone! More exercise!! More Protein! Get medications straightened out!! Continue therapy!  

Thanks for your love and support. 

love, RDB