A Time for Everything

It's been one month since I started my liquid diet. It's been 1 month and 2 days since I "enjoyed" the taste of food.. My season right now is mourning. Yes, I am mourning the loss of my friend "Food". She was so enjoyable.. She was easy to find contentment.. She rarely did me wrong.. She probably loved me as much as I loved her. We had a lot of great memories.

And now, the thought of "Food" makes me uneasy. Not enjoyable. It's affected my mood. I tell people I feel great physically... Emotionally and mentally I feel "off". Again, therapy was very helpful this week. For the second week - I allowed myself to real and share deep fears. . My friend Sarah also was an inspiration this week.  My nutritionist was helpful by saying I am right on track. My ob/gyn says when he see's me again I will be half the person. My clothes are not fitting anymore. Lots of great things but, I am choosing to focus negatively. 

I am deeply nervous that I will fail. I am eating 500-800 calories a days and worried about failing. In one month, I have lost a pound a day and deep down I feel like I am maybe failing. All because I am stalling.. Come to find out- I am not alone - it happens.. Right at the 2-3 week mark. Time to make another choice and choose to focus on the good.

The fact is we live in a country where we put a lot of emphasis on food and eating. A lot of food. And I don't fit in with a lot of restaurants anymore. Certain restaurants that I loved seem gross to me now..  Food is a new adventure, I suppose. 

So, my goal is to not be so hyper focused on the scale and to trust God and the professionals.  

as always thanks for reading!

Overeating/Undereating

So... since drinking shakes has become challenging I am working on getting as much protein as possible from foods. My body went into starvation mode as some calls it. I was not consuming enough calories and my body was storing everything. So, I started eating at 3--5 small meals. One day that meant two tablespoons of green beans and 2 tablespoons of tuna.  1/4 cup of turkey meatloaf.  Another meal 1/4 cup of refried beans with a few chips. those few chips did me in. Tonight it was 1/2 of a petite hamburger patty with 2 fries. UGGH..  tonight was killer. When I eat too fast or add that one more bite I hurt. I have to physically lay down and let the food digest and move. I am also incorporating peanut butter into my diet. Oh the lessons we learn.

I will be honest... I prefer soups. I can pace myself. They don't hurt. I don't overeat. I have also finally ordered unflavored protein -- So, small steps and a supportive hubby.

My weigh ins will be on Tuesday and Saturday. No more worrying about it. My belly is still swollen from surgery they say and it will take several more weeks to get it back to normal. Plus certain buttons hurt my incision when I sit. That means wearing jeans or fitting pants is out of the question. So, excuse my dresses or my stretch pants.. 

I am ready. Ready to feel mentally and physically better. 

Lots of learning. Thanks for reading and your support. 

Intolerance to foods

They say with weight loss surgery lots of people become intolerant to certain foods. I prayed mine would be bread. It still might be because I have not had any bread!!!  But, we know one of my intolerances.. Sunday I thought if I don't figure this out I will end up severely dehydrated. The bathroom and I were spending a lot of time together. 

Oh yes, 2 ounces of it and time it.. oh 90 seconds...  I am in severe pain and in the bathroom. I call it my Al Rooker fear... Basically, I get really weak, nauseated, cramping and I have to go sit on the potty pronto. So, called the doctor and we limited it to 3 things.. Whey, dairy or sugar alcohol.. And with trial and error we found it.. We believe it's the sugar alcohol aspartame. It's found in most sugar free items, protein shakes and lots of diet food. You can't be serious???  So, now I am eating soft foods only. I have to make my own shakes right now. I have been on a break from them but, should restart today.   

The scale hasn't "moved" very much. My WLS friends says to stop weighing myself. My friend A only weights on Fridays and my friend Bre only weights at the doctor. I weight 3 times a day.  Need to move it out of my sight.

After much research- I think I see the problem. I am not eating enough. I need to eat probably 1,000 calories a day. I have to be more deliberate and eat even when I am not hungry  I also need to drink more water!! Calculate how much your water intake here.

Daily walking and Water Aerobics begin next week. 

Happy Friday Friends!

Cooking for my family through weight loss surgery

Don't be surprised that my husband does 89% of the cooking. I usually get home late and John has dinner at the table waiting. No, he is not a stay at home dad. He works a stressful high security job dealing with government stuff. When I met my husband he was raising 2 special needs girls.. alone. Lauren is his daughter.. Lauren's half sister is Maddie. Maddie's father is unknown.. If you ask my husband he says she belongs to him. He cooked, shopped, did laundry and manage the girls appointments and worked.  His family is so supportive but, out of state.  Yes, I married an amazing man. 

So, one of my oldest friends called to check on me the other day. She has celiacs disease. (A disease in which chronic failure to digest food is triggered by hypersensitivity of the small intestine to gluten.) My friend (Sy) she said a lot of really sweet things but, she told me this: You will learn to eat differently while your family eats what you prepared for them out of love. You will find enjoyment in cooking for your family. My therapist says this was good advice.. This keeps you healthy and a chance to live a long healthy life by eating healthy. 

So-- I've done just that. Cooking for my family all while I am feeling full from my 1/8 of cup of food. Thanks Sy for speaking truth to me.