Perfection: Not Found Here

I don't talk about the struggles or temptations very much.. They are there. Anyone who walks through life and says they aren't struggling then beware!!!  I feel like though through all my preparations I was warned that there would be some tough times. I don't hate the struggles and I realize that it's part of the process.. 

It's been four months since I have had a soda. I miss it. I miss it alot. Actually, I only miss Dr. Pepper. I don't try to avoid it because it's everywhere. People say oh take one drink and you will find out it's too sweet or your taste buds have changed. Yeah, I don't believe it and it's not worth the risk! No worries- I do not have any plans to try it out anytime soon. 

I also have cookie cravings. I am not even a cookie fan. It's so weird. 

Then there are days when eating (in general) is so challenging. It's okay to not eat all the time. 

My WLS friends warn you about how awkward clothing shopping can be after weight loss. I can't explain it except that everything that felt "normal" for so long feels awkward now and it's mainly with pants. I am going through the same thing with Lauren. She would be happy just wearing gym shorts everyday.. ha! 

We saw one of Maddie's drs this week. He was in complete shock. He wrote down my doctor's name, my information and he was amazed by the results. I find that most doctors are fearful of weight loss surgery. I make a point to share with any doctor that will listen. Not everyone who has surgery has a miserable experience. Does it happen to some? yes. Can miserable experiences happen as part of life? Yes. 

Some people keep suggesting that I am not losing as fast because I am working out with weights. You know the myth that says muscle weighs more than fat? Well, this article here sums it pretty well.

A pound is a pound is a pound—unless you're defying the laws of physics. No substance weighs more then another one unless it actually weighs more. Simply put: One pound of fat weighs the same as one pound of muscle. “The difference is that fat is bulkier than muscle tissue and takes up more space under the skin,” Greenspan says. In fact, one pound of fat is roughly the size of a small grapefruit; one pound of muscle is about the size of a tangerine. But that tangerine is active tissue, meaning that it burns more calories at rest than fat does. 

Honestly, I don't care about how "fast" I am losing it. I feel pretty awesome at the rate of return. No offense to anyone but, losing weight is a slow and steady process. I have never just lost 10 pounds in one month even when I tried. 

Working out is still a good thing. This past week and next week have been super busy. I only worked out once last week but, I knew it was going to be a challenge to make it all work with our crazy life.  

Eating looks like this:
Egg/Sausage/cheese burrito (we make them ourselves)  or leftover dinner
or if we eat out I eat a few bites of omelet with bacon. 
a cup of decaf coffee or decaf tea

Snack:
Banana

lunch
a little bit of Soup, a little bit of sandwich or a protein bar or smoothie

Snack Protein bar or nuts or beef jerky

Dinner
Hit or miss
Seafood when we eat out. 
a few bites of whatever is cooked 
with a glass of  v-8 juice

So, yeah life is not always a bed of roses but, the results of losing 80 pounds makes it so worth it.   No complaining from me. Just the overwhelming feeling of being happy and blessed to have this journey. 

The stories you hear

I was in the car a few weeks ago with my husband when I came across this story. I felt an "internet" connection to Sarah. We share the world of adoption and of course the bond of weight loss surgery. 

You can  click here to read the "quick version with pics".  Basically, this mother and army wife had a lifetime of struggle with being overweight. Some of my overweight friends might understand.. We struggle with back pain, diabetes, high blood pressure, asthma, sleep apnea  bladder problems and the list could on and on.. So, she made the decision to have weight loss surgery and then her husband was deployed for nine months. Of course, they talked on the phone and video chatted… but Sarah would NEVER show below her shoulder/collar bones. He had no clue!  As you can imagine her transformation was incredible. Check out the blog of this fellow weight loss surgery friend. If you want to follow her journey on facebook then click here. 

Sarah, you are inspiring us all with your story. Thank you for sharing. Rhonda

Support Group: Critically Important

Each time I visit my weight loss surgeon he asks "have you been to support group" and I reply no. Now, I can say YEES!

They also have a support group for those pre-surgery (I think). Our group meets at Baptist Hospital in Little Rock.  People drive 3 hours to attend these meetings!!!!!  Check out our group "Diminishing Returns" by clicking here or you can asking me to add you. . I should make sure you understand that it's NOT related to Baptist Health or Baptist Hospital or endorsed by weight loss surgeons. :) 

At the weight loss seminars, they tell you that you are 70% more likely to successful if you attend support group. That is a pretty big statistic. So, I have committed myself to attending 4 times a year. Well, I never dreamed that I would actually enjoy going to support group. It made me realize this: we all have struggles some are just more apparent than others. Just to mention a few: alcoholism, smoking, overeating, substance abuse, gambling, pornagraphy just to name a few..

According to Obesity Helps (.com) Relapse happens. In fact, it happens a lot. Researchers have found that 90% of alcoholics who go through treatment relapse within the first four years of sobriety.  A million people go on diets and start exercise programs every day and a million people give them up every day. That’s just life. The common reason those who avoid relapse is their commitment to keep working at it. They make sobriety and healthy living their first priority. They don’t make excuses. They are committed to a better life and nothing's going to take that away from it happening.

Obviously, I am in the honeymoon stage of my weight loss journey. I am not fearful of relapsing this year or next year. But, 3 or 4 years I defiantly know that if I am not committed and lose focus it could be a reality. For now though, I will continue to work on becoming a healthier person.

What a difference a year makes..

I mentioned in a recent post that one year ago this week, I made a decision to figure out a way to be healthier. I went to a seminar about weight loss surgery.. I talked with my PCP and she was on board with me getting healthy.. or as I would say to become less fat..

I want to just say- I am thankful for the compliments and acknowledgements. A lot of days, I smile and say thanks. I don't expect people walk around and hand out compliments to me. While this journey is a physical one - I hope my friends know that I am not that vain and a lot of days it's hard to admit that I allowed myself to get where I was. So, thank you for reading my blog and asking for updates and most of all for loving me at my highest weight and my current weight. I truly appreciate it. 

My friend Brent warned me about the haters out there. You know those people. They talk to others about your weight loss "surgery" and the fact that you posted on facebook you wearing jeans 4 size smaller..  I really wish those folks would delete me as a friend or get a life. But, I know that there isn't much I can do but, keep plugging along. Those people are why most people keep surgery a secret. Their sweet lil secret.. Honestly, those people can kiss my..... There is a reason why people say "Haters gonna hate". 

I dated a guy many years ago and his parents warned him the great danger of dating someone fat. I think that is about the dumbest thing to say. But, yes it is dangerous to be overweight. (to clarify I think it was more of social fear than my general health.) Cleary, I remembered that statement and the impact of those words.

So, on the road to being healthy and less "dangerous"..  This photo on the right was adoption day for John and I. I remember seeing these pictures and thinking I will put these pics on my wall with my wedding and honeymoon pictures- Happy and joyful times while being fat and really unhealthy (and dangerous). This will motivate me and remind me that yes, I was happy but, not healthy. Time for a change. A radical change!

One year motivated..  That's how I feel today. We are a few days away from my 3 month surgery anniversary. So, where am I?? I lost 15.2 pounds this month. whoa. WHAT??

Highest weight 353 +

Current Weight 278.4 (I triple checked it!)

TOTAL weight loss 74.6 pounds
BMI points lost  (since highest weight) 11.6

Total Inches Lost since 6/21/13 (Measuring fat is not easy!!)

• Chest 10 inches (3 inches last month!!!!!!)
• Arms 5 inches (In the beginning my left was smaller by 2  inches now they are about an inch apart)
• Bust  7.5 inches
• Hips 8 inches 
• Belly button region 9.5 inches (2.5 inches this month)
• Thighs 4 inches

Where I feel the most difference?  All over but, with clothes my butt and certain shoes. 

Goals for last month

Well, I had to make adjustments. Drinking more water but, not really keeping track. Being more proactive about adding veggies and fruit in my diet.  Working out 3-4 days a week is all my schedule allows right now. I am doing better with running but, I have not ran as much.. For the first time ever-- I am doing the elliptical for warm up. I have improved so much in my working out routines. Makes me feel proud because lots of folks only use an elliptical for working out and it's my warm up!!   Remember what I call county fair days at D1? (click here to read more about my first experience)?? (County fair is where you do mini station work outs for 30 seconds then move on- you can do anything for 30 seconds, right? Sometime, the coach changes the music every 30 seconds.. Intense and good for you!) I am going to say I almost rocked it this past week. I completed most of the challenges or stations and felt good. A great piece of advice from D1 was to eat a banana on my way to work out. Wow, I felt so much better!!!!  

I also had a goal to motivate others when I was given the opportunity. I appreciate all my friends who have shared this blog with their friends who complemtating weight loss surgery. I hope this helps them. When skinny or in shape strangers come up to me and tell me they read my blog, I get embarrassed and think why is that skinny person reading my blog.. Then I remember one day I will be healthy (and hopefully skinnier) and some overweight person will motivate me on why going to the gym is important. For now, I have my photos on my wall to remind me daily. 

Goals this month..  I want to continue making progress. When you look at the numbers and progress this month was incredible month. A dream come true. I saw my pcp the other day and I could tell by her response she was proud of my success. I am too- I have worked hard.  But, I also know there is a lot of people less fortunate than me and I know that I am blessed beyond measure... A second chance on life.