Therapy.. It's been a God send.. It's really help me face some issues. Issues I didn't even realize..
A friend of mine confided in me that her daughter was diagnosed with ADD. I was shocked. I thought there was no way. So, I did some research. Research, along with my husband and my therapist we come to realize that I also probably have some ADD tendencies. I went to get tested recently. I am not just ADD but, ADHD.. Wow, me? "Is losing your cell phone, wallet or keys part of your daily routine? People with ADHD frequently misplace common items. (that was in an article I read recently" Relaxing is really hard for me too.. Completing tasks.. And I could go on and on.. While part of me was sad to learn this- the other part of me felt free.
I am a daydreamer. I have been a for most of my life. Lots of simple things were really hard for me. Paperwork- for example-requires me to be very precise about my organization. So many folks- say I am organized- but, I work twice as hard to keep up the "look". All the time doctors tell me how good I am at keep things organized and the ideal parent! I play the part of organized mama well. School was very challenging for me- mainly because I couldn't focus. It was College Algebra (3rd or 4th time) that I dreamed up my plan for the Life Made Simple business. Report cards were so depressing- I tried so hard and yet couldn't finish the task. The history of my ADHD goes back to 2nd grade. Probably earlier in life with all the day dreaming I did.
My poor parents- I just told my mom recently. She was bummed that she didn't realize it for me as a kid. She says maybe I could have made life easier for you. I shared this article with mom and told her this quote: “Often, if girls are smart or in supportive homes, symptoms are masked,” Solden says. “Because they’re not hyperactive or causing trouble for other people, they’re usually not diagnosed until they hit a wall, often at college, marriage, or pregnancy. A lot of things that are simple and routine to other people—like buying groceries, making dinner, keeping track of possessions, and responding to emails—do not become automatic to these women, which can be embarrassing and exhausting.”
I finally decided I would be successful in spite of my ability to focus in class. I didn't succeed in school. But, I love people. I love kids.. I love life.. I feel God has his hand in so many parts of my life.. However, lots of things were beginning to become very overwhelming..
My ADHD went into overdrive with the stress of motherhood. They say motherhood is stressful- special needs kids is a whole another world of stress. Appointments, organization of the girls medication, school work, IEP meetings, recent hospitalizations, therapy appointments, day to day tasks on top of my work- I then took on a new job as director of an afterschool program. That happen 3 weeks before I got married... The paperwork and detail became more important. I hit a wall- not a depression wall but, I needed help because on the inside I was becoming a failure at simple tasks while smiling and pretending success on the outside. Erica talks about it on her blog. I finally got help with time, therapy and medication --my life in my brain is getting better - I feel more organize, able to complete tasks, attention to detail and defiantly not as many private freak out moments. I still wake up some days and freak out and hyper focus but, I recognize it-
So, you will read about ADHD diagnosis - I fall into some categories. Some don't describe me. I am not a person who struggles with depression- I am happy, outgoing and confident.. No longer do I worry about failing my family and not being able to hold everything together.
And yes, everyday- I get in the car and I make sure I have my sunshades, purse, keys and cell phone.
By the way this diagnosis is probably key in me being successful with weighloss. :) thanks for reading. Mama Rho
