Online "Support" Groups and the weekend update

So, there are lots of online groups for people who have had weight loss surgery. And some days I feel really connected to people and their experiences.. But, lately I am annoyed. When a friend or family member suggests an idea that isn't really good advice it's in one ear and out the other.  When other weight loss surgery freinds suggest ideas- I listen and apply as needed. People in these facebook groups are wearing me out!!!!

I should tell you that this surgery is not a miracle. It's a tool to help me lose weight. A lady said today- how the surgery failed her. I reached out to her.. I was concerned about what happen.. She said well I drink mountain dews and eat cupcakes at work.. Seriously!!!?? People are crazy!

26 days post surgery

When I reach my goal weight I will probably call this whole thing my miracle. Granny Duckett- always remembers the good times with her kiddos.. Never remembers them misbehaving.. It's like she has blocked it from memory.. That will be me. I will block the rough times out of WLS. :) Check out my scars they are healing nicely. Time to start Mederma so I can wear that 2 pc swimsuit.. (I am kidding).. 

Anyways, ADD moment.. My husband didn't ask me to have this surgery. My fat life wasn't terrible.  The fact is.. It was time to take action. I was tired a lot. I found myself not able to do the things I used to do. I also knew that staying at 350 pounds was not going to allow me to live a long life. So, the decision to make a change in my life wasn't difficult. It was actually quite easy. I am so blessed that I have GAINED friends from this surgery. Definitely, brought me closer to God. My energy is much better... I am a cheap date. I am surprised how restaurants are accommodating. Today, a local small business gave me grief about ordering of the kids menu. I will visit once more before I whip out my medical card... Eating out has become easier. I am learning more about what I can tolerate and my stomach's swelling has went down considerably... Tropical smoothie actually has a smoothie option with protein and not bad on calories.. Red Lobster is my favorite chain at the moment.. With Panera coming in second.. Soup is still my go to food. Fast food seems impossible but, I do love Wendy's Chili. Of course, the container of chili last for many many meals. Cheerios and String cheese have also become a great on the go option. Cooking and eating at home is much easier and preferred. I used to LOVE breakfast and now I tolerate it. My first meal of the day is very unsatisfying. I used to never want Ice Cream- now I do! I have somewhat craved a Dr. Pepper this week but, there is no way in hell I will drink a soda. I had major pain after taking a sip of Sparkling Water (accidentally). If I am behind on water intake (usually I am) then I get hungry at night. Trying new foods is scary. This next part is TMI.. New foods can cause you vomit.. And when you vomit- it's not normal vomit.. It's like mass amount of thick mucus.. Pepperoni not chewed was the culprit. And while dumping is rare- I can not have peanut butter in a shake. I am not sure I can even have PB2.. Such a bummer. I can eat plain peanut butter but, in a shake and I have a long date in the bathroom. Not one bit pleasant. As you can imagine protein is a challenge to get everyday.. As the doctor suggested- chicken is very challenging to eat. I love fruit but I wish it had protein.. 

Weekly update.. We are within days of the scales blasting 299. It's okay because I might as well enjoy the 300's cause I have no plans on returning back here. However, my clothes can tell a major change.

 Shirts fit so much better and I am losing some of my bat wings (arm fat). Praise the Lord! I also can tell my chest and hips are down at least a size. John says he can tell just hugging me (such a supportive hubby).. I will not be attached to the scale. Spoke with my PCP's nurse.. Can't change the dosage to my adderall xr till August 12th because my PCP is out. (Not sure if I blogged about the fact that the XR isn't working because these formulations are intended to be absorbed over 2-12 hours, the pill passes through the gastrointestinal tract before absorption is complete. It's going to be okay though! At least-- I know why I am emotionally and mentally off! My motivation/planning is out of sorts.. So, perhaps my blogging improve next week along with my returning emails and messages.  

Today, my sweet free friend who I can call on for lunch anytime sent me this inspiration today. And I thought how appropriate for my season of life. 

"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies."

Mama said there'll be days like this...

Today was rough... Not sure if I can say why but, it was.. 

7:30 am..  Knocking on the door.. Is the babysitter early? Another solicitor? I put on my robe and a young

mans says "A man drove by and his tire came off and went through your fence." I look at him and I am like "what?" So, I go out in the back yard and find this. Call the police for a report...  Thank the Lord there was no in the way of the tire!!!

Then it was time.. Time to the doctor for follow up from you know that weight loss surgery I had three weeks ago.. He said "You are making great progress... 22 pounds since surgery is awesome..." We also discussed my problems with my adderall. Apparently, we need to adjust it because my body is not "processing" the XR component. So, I am not crazy.  I was diagnosed with ADHD a while back. You can read that blog here. My life is so much better with meds. I also can start working out for real in a few weeks!

Then lunch with my sister was a delight.  She is all grown up and studying Nuclear Medicine Technology.

And it's Wednesday. Therapy day. I enjoy therapy time.. Several things are going on with our family.. Please pray for us that timing of things will work out...  As for now- I will be thankful for the 22 lbs gone! 

Today is the last day of July... Tomorrow means game on for me... Summer break is almost over... 

Gratefulness

One step. One thing. Have you ever wrote out a list of goals and immediately freaked out. Sometimes in life we need to simplify and slow down. Summer should be a time where we take time to just slow down.. Lauren has been at Camp Barnabas this week (cick the link to a pic of her). It's been the perfect time get so much done but, my mind and spirit said to slow down. Relax. Take time to just be. No guilt. 

Yesterday, my friend "A" called to check on me. Perfect timing.. She was full of hints and ideas on surviving this phase -- If you remember "A" has weight loss surgery a few years back.. I appreciate "A" because she is real with me. She paid for her surgery out of pocket. She wanted it bad. :) 


Today, I pulled out my summer shorts. All my dresses and capris are hanging on me. It's a good sign. I tried on a couple pair of shorts and thought I am going to try on my capri's that I bought to wear the first week of school... I bought them on sale in March hoping to wear them the first day of school. I am wearing those pants today. No laying on the bed- sucking in my gut just put them on. It's time - time to get over my pity party and the grateful for the progress.. Down a complete size. 

 Being like the Proverbs 31 woman my mind  is nearly impossible to achieve. But, I think really she was faithful in small and everyday things. I bet she was grateful too.  

Inspiration from this blog came from the book called The "Do What You Can" Plan.

A Time for Everything

It's been one month since I started my liquid diet. It's been 1 month and 2 days since I "enjoyed" the taste of food.. My season right now is mourning. Yes, I am mourning the loss of my friend "Food". She was so enjoyable.. She was easy to find contentment.. She rarely did me wrong.. She probably loved me as much as I loved her. We had a lot of great memories.

And now, the thought of "Food" makes me uneasy. Not enjoyable. It's affected my mood. I tell people I feel great physically... Emotionally and mentally I feel "off". Again, therapy was very helpful this week. For the second week - I allowed myself to real and share deep fears. . My friend Sarah also was an inspiration this week.  My nutritionist was helpful by saying I am right on track. My ob/gyn says when he see's me again I will be half the person. My clothes are not fitting anymore. Lots of great things but, I am choosing to focus negatively. 

I am deeply nervous that I will fail. I am eating 500-800 calories a days and worried about failing. In one month, I have lost a pound a day and deep down I feel like I am maybe failing. All because I am stalling.. Come to find out- I am not alone - it happens.. Right at the 2-3 week mark. Time to make another choice and choose to focus on the good.

The fact is we live in a country where we put a lot of emphasis on food and eating. A lot of food. And I don't fit in with a lot of restaurants anymore. Certain restaurants that I loved seem gross to me now..  Food is a new adventure, I suppose. 

So, my goal is to not be so hyper focused on the scale and to trust God and the professionals.  

as always thanks for reading!