understanding Autism

I like so many people would love to understand autism. I don't pretend to get it. As matter of fact, one mama wrote it best on her blog. Raising a hair-dryer kid in a toaster-brained world.. Go read it. It's a good read. 

I met Lauren (Our daughter with Autism) in 2011 and we were instantly buddies. She was living a rough life inside her mind and her heart. She was constantly living in Maddie's shadow. She felt abandoned. Maddie demands a lot of attention. So, when Lauren wanted attention she would pull out all the stops to get the attention. Another blog for another day. 

Rho and Lauren in 2011

I remember John telling me after my first IEP meeting that it was okay to be sad that these meetings are depressing and you lose some hope. So a few months later we meet with a developmental pediatrician- it was time to do IQ testing and such. That day in June was double depressing. Lauren tested at 16 months old. I remember doctor's referring to me as the "girlfriend". I was raising this child but, she wasn't mine. I had a peace that one day she would be mine (legally).  I remember Lauren couldn't even identify a balloon during the testing. Lauren was 7 years old. I told John that day- our kids are not stupid- these test set them up to fail. 

I was pretty angry for just a girlfriend. So, I began the journey I found the psychiatrist, psychologist, therapists and a new school all to help improve Lauren and Maddie. I studied and went to many conferences and kept an open mind.

We went through some really hard times but, we have seen progress and results.

Lauren is 10 and is attending 3rd grade. We have a psychologist we see when there are troubles. He is amazing and connects with Lauren. We see a psychiatrist who manages meds 3-4 times a year. He is also good at understanding psychotic meds.. We are also seen by the autism clinic at Arkansas Children's Hospital. While that clinic is exhausting they have been helpful. We also see a developmental pediatrician once a year.

Lauren with us at the Beach

She currently receives Occupational Therapy for 90 minutes and 120 minutes of Speech Therapy a week at school and we also opt to do another 60 minutes at Hippos and Fish in North Little Rock.
She has a Augmentative and alternative communication (AAC). People with severe speech or language problems rely on AAC to supplement existing speech or replace speech that is not functional. Special augmentative aids, such as picture and symbol communication boards and electronic devices, are available to help people express themselves. This may increase social interaction, school performance, and feelings of self-worth. Lauren is considered nonverbal.

Medication.. She has tried numerous meds but, she is currently on Risperdal (Since last fall we have cut the dose in half), Melatonin (We hope to go off of it this summer), B12 injections, CQ10. We recently stopped zoloft and added in B12 injections and life has changed for Lauren. She is happy. She is more verbal. Recently we had her tested and she tested at around preschool level. Read this line again... She went from 16 months to 4 to 5 years old in 3 years! Again the school caution me that these test are not a good measure for Lauren's smartness. Lauren connected a basket with a picnic. She associates the desert with cactus. She connects wheels with transportation. Yes, she is smarter than the test. 

Since the medication change she is taking responsibility at school- she is more social- she is more verbal - she is doing school work.. She is less angry... Life is good. I am so thankful for Lauren's progress.
My little Bensen is growing up and maturing. This child thrives in my care. I offer her love, discipline and treat her with respect and encouragement that allow her to grow. Yes, we still have meltdowns, the IEP meetings can be depressing and we still love Dora but, the progress we have made is nothing short of a miracle and I will take that. 

Lauren-Age 10

I am thinking about removing all Dora items from the house this summer but, then she shows interest in the preteen disney shows and I think maybe Dora isn't so bad after all.

Autism (with a capital “A”) to me, says that I accept Lauren wholly. I celebrate her differences and her quirky-ness. I advocate diversity. I try to empower her. I am proud of her successes, no matter how small they seem. I hopes she holds onto the compassion's she has in her heart into adulthood. I do not think she needs “fixing”. I am proud thats she is my "daughter", and sometimes I am humbled by that very same thought.

-Adopted Mama to Lauren 

Why I Walk....

Over a year ago two of my friends came to me at different times and encouraged me to join Walk for the Waiting. In my mind I didn’t walk and just because I adopted two kids didn’t mean I wanted to start walking. But, then my husband told me he was going to walk and then day by day my heart open to the idea. I was too “fat feeling” to physically walk last year. Goodness that is embarrassing to just type.  However, my heart continued to be softened for children living all over the world who had no family or home.. So, joining Walk for the Waiting this year was an easy choice. I could actually walk and God had placed the right man in my path to have a heart for the waiting children too.  The stats are out there. If every other church (in Arkansas) would take interest in helping ONE child in foster care then we probably would not have ANY kids waiting for a family. John and I are following our heart to help. Our big reasons for why we walk? Obviously for Lauren and Maddie, the two girls who I call mine through adoption. I know without a doubt their life is better because I am their mom. People tell me all the time but, I know that together we make a family and we love each other! Who am I kidding; my life is so much more complete because of my girls. They have shown me that my faith cannot be put into a “box”. And just because I can’t hear the words they speak I can feel the words through a smile or snuggling on the couch. 

Another reason I walk is no doubt my extended family has shown me love by accepting numerous foster kids in their home and adopting so many I have lost count. (It exceeds 8!) In their community where they live they are heroes and they are my family. 

And then at my job I am reminded why I walk …  I love my job and the 70 children and 13 college staff I spend time with each day. My staff has shown love to a child who is in foster care by building a relationship based on love. It’s such a blessing to experience it. Actually my staff has open their hearts to all the children we work with. All children need love.  Then there is the foster mom who is single and giving this child a home. She is opening her heart and home and then surely I can walk.  Actually the child told me she is so

thankful that her foster mom gave her a closet to store her belongings. That nearly broke my heart to hear. This foster mom is also my hero.

 And so each day I am easily reminded of why I walk...

You can join our team and walk with us by clicking here.

If you can’t walk but, would like to donate then by clicking here.

If you can’t or donate but, you still want to do something please pray. 

How are the funds used?

1) To increase the visibility of children waiting for adoption by expanding the Heart Gallery statewide through the efforts of Project Zero. (I have friends who have adopted through Projected Zero!)

2) To mobilize the church by recruiting, training, and supporting Christian foster and adoptive families and volunteers from local churches to serve children in foster care, both in Pulaski County and in 25 other counties around the state through The CALL. (DHS has said this organization is vital and important!)

3) To provide a third transitional home in Little Rock for youth aging out of foster care through Immerse Arkansas. (Another great way to help children become productive citizens!)  

Month 9 post Gastric Sleeve Surgery

My birthday in 2013 and 2014. Year of personal change!!

I haven’t been blogging very much.  I cannot pinpoint exactly why but, I am back… I hope to be more consistent.  So where are we in the journey of Rhonda’s weight loss and what’s happen the past six weeks?

I turned 35 and while it’s officially middle age I am not stressed or sad because I am "smaller" than I was when I graduated high school and I feel great. So, this age thing is not going to get me down.. (and repeat)..

We went to the beach for Spring Break and had a great time just resting and getting away. We loved Dauphin Island. If you like low key and the beach it's a great place. I need to blog on our great experiences. Anyways,  I had some “awe-inspiring” moments that seemed surreal during my clothing shopping adventures.  We had saved some money for us to shop with at the outlet stores. First up was some undergarments. I went from a 46/48 bra band size to a size 40. Wowzer. Then I went to buy some under armor compression heat gear.  Let’s face it- the big down side to weight loss surgery is this sagging skin and dang it, I will wear whatever to be comfortable in

Honeymoon 2012 and Vacation 2014

my skin. Compression and spanx feels good to wear because it’s supportive and keeps the loose skin in one place. Anyways, I was consulting the sales lady about sizing and how tight it should feel and she said I could do large in women’s or medium in men’s. I looked at the lady like she had lost her mind. She showed me who was boss.  I am wearing a large in compression clothing?!!  I have also purchased size 16 shirts. That seems unreal.  I am wearing XL shirts and not self-conscious as I was in my previous post. . Most pants are XXL/18/16. It depends on brands, size and material. One of my girlfriend’s says she varies from a size 4 to size 8 or 10. Holy smokes that’s crazy.  My friend Sarah is a consultant with CAbi and hosted a party at her home recently.  The clothing is flattering, chic and feels amazing. I bought 2 pieces- I can’t wait to share it with you. Again, the XL was too big.  :)

People often say, "I had no idea you were so fat". Umm yeah, I was fat and unhealthy. Very thankful I am getting less fat and trying to be more healthy. 

Size 18 dress bought at Macy's

My husband said our vacation was very different because I was full of energy and ready to go and he was tired and wanting to lay around. It felt good to “feel good”. I was able to enjoy thing my time with my family.

Measurements and weight.. I haven’t weighed in one month. Weighing after our Spring Break trip was out of the question. Then, I took my scales to work for a project and brought them  home on Friday. So, tomorrow will tell us the story.

Stress has defiantly caused me to eat candy and make poor food choices this past month. I still eat

 considerably less than I did pre surgery.  Most meals I eat 40% compared to a year ago. My “stomach” is not expanding. When I feel “pms-y” I eat what feels like a lot but, hey it happens and it's nothing like before. Here is photo of the dress I wore for a few special events. It is moving on to my friend Tracee's home. Happy to retire the dress that felt great for events. 

So, I have been busy with the last few months of school and with my college classes.. But, I still have goals:

1.  I have a wedding in 3 weeks. I am hoping to lose enough weight to wear a size LARGE dress I bought at the beach. 

2.  I am planning on starting back with my trainer for the months of June and July. 

3.  Drink more water. (the neverending goal)

4. I only buy clothes that actually fit and I like to wear at the moment- too many items purchased and not worn because they didn't fit or I suddenly didn't like it. Ha

I am not done!  The journey of having Gastric Sleeve Surgery in July 2013 was one of the best decisions I ever made. And they say "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step"... My journey is far from over. 

8 months post op

So, I started several posts and never actually completed them. I am not doing a very good job at blogging. Motherhood, Full time school, a "part time" job that is really full time and life is my excuse.

In my post that I never posted I said this:

Okay, top right was Oct. 2012,
Bottom left was July 2013,
the other photo was Feb 2014.
This shirt no longer fits!!!!

I feel that I am doing okay. I am 7+ months post op from the Gastric Sleeve Surgery at Baptist Hospital in Little Rock. And I am celebrating 105 pound GONE.  I was barely fitting in a 26/28 and now I am in a 18/20.

 I feel like I spent 2 months trying to clear the 100 pound hurdle. But, I woke up one day I was actually out of the 250's and was down 105 pounds. One year ago, I was 353 pounds. I was in a bad shape. I wasn't honest with my life or myself a year ago.. I was merrily surviving.  I have 3 friends who are going through pre op preparing for surgery. I have to keep myself in check because I want to jump up and down and scream "You are making the BEST decision of your life"!! And for me, it has been the right decision for me.

--------------

So, we are 8 months post op today and I still wanna scream "best decision ever!!" How do I feel? Great. I am so thankful to be where I am at today. My PCP and my ob/gyn also feel that I am doing good. We are all in agreement that I am in a much better place health wise.  I am very close to being at the size I was in high school. I have no idea what I really was weight wise. I am also going to bypass my husband and my brother's weight and I have a feeling there will there will start some healthy competition begin.

My wedding weekend in May 2012 (size 3x shirt) and Feb 2014.

People are concerned my stomach will stretch back out. Well, here is what I know: Somedays I can eat a lot. I mean like a lot. Like breakfast, non fat latte, skinny cow bar, smoothie, half sandwich, chips, popcorn and a dr. pepper. Somedays 2 bites of any meal I choose and I am in misery. There are more meals that are a few bites than than the "eating a lot" days. I definitely make bad decisions some days. Snow days at home with my family are a guarantee bust. But, you know what my worst day now eating is probably better than my best day 1-2-3-4-10 years ago. So, I do not dwell on it. Plus it's all in moderation. My sleeve/stomach has attitude and sometimes I eat something and have no problems and a week later- I eat the same thing and feel miserable.

So, what is the progress like?  Remember they say you do the best in the first 6 months. So, I am on the "slower" period of weight loss. I am very happy with my progress thus far though. The truth is it's hard to tell when I lost 50 pounds but, now people can tell every 10 pounds I lose. That's good cause I need encouragement!  

I am in the 240's. (it's silly to post an exact number because it changes every day up and down) (110 +/-  pounds lost)
I am in a size 18 but, can wiggle my hips into a size 16. I am in a XL shirt but, still feel self conscious. My 2x shirts is too big. I have quite the chest and we do not expect I will lose as much there. That's ok I am not afraid of breast reduction surgery!! I also have some extra skin to pass along to anyone needing it.

The non scale victories are lots of fun!

February 28th and December 28th

Ring size was a size 8 and had to resize my ring to 6.5!!!!
My photos from 2 months ago show major progress. Check out the photo --->
I am down at least half size in shoes.  (was a 10 and now between 9 1/2 and 9). One foot is bigger than the other..
Unofficially (my husband isn't home to measure me) I have lost 56 inches in various parts of my body.
My chest, hips, belly 13+ inches gone.


It's becoming challenging to measure the inches with the loose skin and I could really wear spanx all day and be okay. That means I have a lot of firming up to do. aka I need to get back to working out on regular basis..

I still miss food. But, food doesn't comfort me or make me feel better. People have told me I make the journey look easy. I am glad to hear that. It's much easier than being fat but, I would not use the term easy. Nothing about weight loss is easy. It's hard work. It doesn't matter if you have 10 pounds to lose or 200 pounds it's hard work. I want to continue to encourage people to step up to the challenge and do something stop surrounding yourself around negative people/haters. I once read:  “Success is a journey, and the road to get there isn’t easy. There will be those who say you can’t make it, ‘it’s too tough’, or that you’re not strong enough, others will try to challenge your strength and try to knock you off and some will refuse to get out of your way. Success is a journey, and for me – it was worth the wait”

To my supporters who encourage me often- thank you. It's means a lot to me and as my dad always says keep on, keeping on. 

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