understanding Autism

I like so many people would love to understand autism. I don't pretend to get it. As matter of fact, one mama wrote it best on her blog. Raising a hair-dryer kid in a toaster-brained world.. Go read it. It's a good read. 

I met Lauren (Our daughter with Autism) in 2011 and we were instantly buddies. She was living a rough life inside her mind and her heart. She was constantly living in Maddie's shadow. She felt abandoned. Maddie demands a lot of attention. So, when Lauren wanted attention she would pull out all the stops to get the attention. Another blog for another day. 

Rho and Lauren in 2011

I remember John telling me after my first IEP meeting that it was okay to be sad that these meetings are depressing and you lose some hope. So a few months later we meet with a developmental pediatrician- it was time to do IQ testing and such. That day in June was double depressing. Lauren tested at 16 months old. I remember doctor's referring to me as the "girlfriend". I was raising this child but, she wasn't mine. I had a peace that one day she would be mine (legally).  I remember Lauren couldn't even identify a balloon during the testing. Lauren was 7 years old. I told John that day- our kids are not stupid- these test set them up to fail. 

I was pretty angry for just a girlfriend. So, I began the journey I found the psychiatrist, psychologist, therapists and a new school all to help improve Lauren and Maddie. I studied and went to many conferences and kept an open mind.

We went through some really hard times but, we have seen progress and results.

Lauren is 10 and is attending 3rd grade. We have a psychologist we see when there are troubles. He is amazing and connects with Lauren. We see a psychiatrist who manages meds 3-4 times a year. He is also good at understanding psychotic meds.. We are also seen by the autism clinic at Arkansas Children's Hospital. While that clinic is exhausting they have been helpful. We also see a developmental pediatrician once a year.

Lauren with us at the Beach

She currently receives Occupational Therapy for 90 minutes and 120 minutes of Speech Therapy a week at school and we also opt to do another 60 minutes at Hippos and Fish in North Little Rock.
She has a Augmentative and alternative communication (AAC). People with severe speech or language problems rely on AAC to supplement existing speech or replace speech that is not functional. Special augmentative aids, such as picture and symbol communication boards and electronic devices, are available to help people express themselves. This may increase social interaction, school performance, and feelings of self-worth. Lauren is considered nonverbal.

Medication.. She has tried numerous meds but, she is currently on Risperdal (Since last fall we have cut the dose in half), Melatonin (We hope to go off of it this summer), B12 injections, CQ10. We recently stopped zoloft and added in B12 injections and life has changed for Lauren. She is happy. She is more verbal. Recently we had her tested and she tested at around preschool level. Read this line again... She went from 16 months to 4 to 5 years old in 3 years! Again the school caution me that these test are not a good measure for Lauren's smartness. Lauren connected a basket with a picnic. She associates the desert with cactus. She connects wheels with transportation. Yes, she is smarter than the test. 

Since the medication change she is taking responsibility at school- she is more social- she is more verbal - she is doing school work.. She is less angry... Life is good. I am so thankful for Lauren's progress.
My little Bensen is growing up and maturing. This child thrives in my care. I offer her love, discipline and treat her with respect and encouragement that allow her to grow. Yes, we still have meltdowns, the IEP meetings can be depressing and we still love Dora but, the progress we have made is nothing short of a miracle and I will take that. 

Lauren-Age 10

I am thinking about removing all Dora items from the house this summer but, then she shows interest in the preteen disney shows and I think maybe Dora isn't so bad after all.

Autism (with a capital “A”) to me, says that I accept Lauren wholly. I celebrate her differences and her quirky-ness. I advocate diversity. I try to empower her. I am proud of her successes, no matter how small they seem. I hopes she holds onto the compassion's she has in her heart into adulthood. I do not think she needs “fixing”. I am proud thats she is my "daughter", and sometimes I am humbled by that very same thought.

-Adopted Mama to Lauren 

My brother and I lose weight in 2013!

We have had a lot of family time recently. Thanksgiving, Wedding extravaganza, Christmas and the actually wedding was all in the past few months. I am not complaining. It’s a special time and it’s been fun. A year ago during Christmas I shared with my family that I was going to have weight loss surgery.  Many folks do not share because of the “back lash” or lack of support but, I felt that this battle needed my family's support and I didn’t want to mislead anyone. My family was supportive but, my brother will tell you he was apprehensive. I shared with him that losing weight is a journey that lots of people take- some of us will succeed and some will fail. All of us will take different roads to get our results. No road is “easy”. My brother was 298 pounds last Christmas. He really didn’t have room to judge and he knew it. Being fat sucks. 

So, he left that Christmas and made some decisions. He started working out, changed his eating and got with his PCP to help create a plan for him to lose weight. I think he wanted to show me he could do it. He did it. He lost over 75 pounds. He looks fantastic.

My Brother Kyle and I lost a combine total of  170 pounds in 2013!

The New Year is a time when lots of people make goals and jump on the bandwagon to lose weight. I support getting healthy. Some people need medication; some people need weight watchers, some people need to get moving and some people need surgery. I support it all. My life has greatly improved..

 Everyone says I look better but, more than anything I feel so much better. I was in bad shape a year ago. I was weighing in at over 350 pounds. My feet hurt so bad- I was sick on antibiotics 3 times last November and December. My breathing was labored and I was developing asthma. I had no energy and felt exhausted much of the time. My life was leaving me in the dust. I was really too fat to work out. Let's be honest I had a big amount of weight to lose!

Today, I do not diet. I had a lifestyle change. I did use phentermine for 6 months and lost 13 pounds. I know many people who lost weight with phentermine, hormone injections or shakes. I think I would have been more successful had I done a few things differently. Weight loss plans like weight watchers are proven to be a great tool. Working out is also a great tool. All these things are tools. Tools to help you be healthy and feel better. These tools do not work if you don’t make a decision to eat better.

My brother and my family are supportive. I am blessed without a doubt! They know that losing weight is hard and it's challenging. It's a mental game as much as a physical game. I didn’t just have a surgery and lose weight. Therapy along with working out and some other life styles changes was important key to my success. 

You can have a getting healthy story like Kyle and I have by next Christmas. It’s not going to be easy but, I promise you it will be worth it. I guess it’s only fitting that my brother gave me scales for Christmas. He knows I will not be offended and use the precious gift. It’s all fancy and tells me I have not drinking enough water. Ha!  

Losing weight isn’t easy. If it were, everyone would be doing it. The most important thing you can do for yourself today is to live a healthy, active lifestyle. Remember, weight loss is not a race but a marathon. Our bodies, our minds, our lives are meant to be filled with balance. Learn from us and get motivated to change your lifestyle in the New Year.  Cheers to 2014 and to your life being better.