Repairing our World..

Rhonda and her Tikkun Olam Award

Over the weekend, I was a recipient of the Jane B. Mendel Tikkun Olam Award from the Jewish Federation of Arkansas. The Tikkun Olam Award recognized my volunteer work with Ati’Day Yisroel Early Childhood Center. A popular question among friends has been – how did you get involved? Moreover, you can be awarded and not be Jewish? And what does Tikkun Olam mean?

I moved to Little Rock 6 years ago this week to begin my work with Vic, Betsy  and the boys. Sometime later that year I met Julie and Phil Elson right after they had their first child (you know Phil because he is the play by play voice for Razorback Baseball). Julie and I quickly became friends. A few years later, Julie introduced me to Ati’Day Yisroel Early Childhood Center.   Ati’ Day Yisroel Early Childhood Center was more of a

Rhonda and Julie

preschool than a childhood center. since I join the board we now accept infants. Somehow, I ended up joining the board in 2012 as someone who could bring “expertise” from working in the industry at AfterCare Express at Lakewood UMC.  It was a good fit- I had experience working in nonprofit religious childcare programming. In 2014, I was asked to take on the role as Director of Education. I feel that I can offer some solid advice to the board and assist the director as needed(Amy). People assume daycares are moneymakers and simple to manage. Friends and readers of this blog, daycares (especially infant – preschool settings) are a lot of work and I respect anyone who is directing or working in childcare. It's work! I have the privilege to work in a setting that is afterschool programming and it’s the perfect fit for me.  Since the Arkansas Jewish community is small in numbers the daycare and the board they allow us Gentiles (non Jew) to attend the daycare and serve on the board.  

I am so thankful that my parents instilled in me the importance of respecting diversity and culture. According to my research there are about 1700 Jewish people living in Arkansas. I think about 300 were in attendance on Saturday night at the Feasting and Festivities event at the Arkansas Arts Center.  You might remember Bill Clinton  was honored in 2012.

Board President and I
Red Heads Rock!

This year they honored Justice Annabelle Imber Tuck. Justice Tuck (She served on the Arkansas Supreme Court) is also an active community advocate and I find it a real honor to be awarded alongside with her.

Tikkun Olam- Hebrew phrase that means "repairing the world" (or "healing the world") which suggests humanity's shared responsibility to heal, repair and transform the world.

I am very thankful for the talents and gifts that God gave me. I believe that when you are working within your talents and gifts then you have the ability to be performing at your best. I am also thankful my husband allows to to be involved in charity work and he is willing to pick the slack at home!  I know there are lots of

John and Rhonda before the event

people I am surrounded by each day who are making a difference in the world without receiving credit. People assume you have to travel the world to help others when in fact there is ways to volunteer right around you. I am very grateful and humbled that the Ati` Day Board nominated me for this honor and I am proud to be a honorary jew. 

I also thought this was thought provoking:

In The Essence of the Heart Sutra, His Holiness the Dalai Lama wrote,

“Genuine compassion must have both wisdom and lovingkindness. That is to say, one must understand the nature of the suffering from which we wish to free others (this is wisdom), and one must experience deep intimacy and empathy with other sentient beings (this is lovingkindness).

In other words, when we truly see our own suffering, we can see the suffering of others more clearly, and that leads us to be compassionate.  When we reach out to others, we often alleviate our own suffering when we create a deep empathic bond.

This doesn’t always happen when we think we’re being compassionate.  Sometimes, we’re just going through the motions, we’re doing our best with at a job that involves helping others, but we may be stressed-out or overwhelmed.  When that happens, we don’t have the wisdom to see our own suffering, let alone someone else’s.  That may be a time when we need to look at ourselves and our own spiritual practice to see what is supporting us.  What is nurturing us? We need to have empathy for ourselves when we are burned out.  How can we repair the world if we ourselves are broken?

Tikkun Olam- repairing the world, starts with healing ourselves. And sometimes healing ourselves starts with reaching out to someone else.

Why our family feels the Community First Choice is so very important

Tomorrow, I return to the Capitol for very personal reasons. I didn’t get involved last session when they were discussing CFCO. I mean I did make some statement on Facebook but, like all the legislators were reading my Facebook- plus I have said if you feel strongly about something send an email or pick up the phone or get involved. DO SOMETHING. So tomorrow, I am going to the capitol with my friend Ruth to take a stand for my family. I wanted to share with you so that if you feel so inclined you could email or tell your legislators to please vote yes. I think anytime you are going to share your story- while it’s important to have some rawness – you should also be prepared. So I am sharing with my blogging community.

We are on the infamous waiver waiting list we are #1230 (I think). We have been on the waitlist since 2008- (yes, it predates me meeting my family-if you haven't read my blog on our adoption click here). I think I will call tomorrow and ask so I can tell everyone our exact #. I am sassy like that. Anyways, to all my friends who have no idea what the hell I am talking about: Community First Choice Option (CFCO) would help thousands (approximately 3,000) of people (including my Lauren) with disabilities (like autism) in Arkansas access home & community-based supports. Here is what I found online (You can click here to read more):  The Affordable Care Act establishes Community First Choice (CFC) under Section 1915(k) of the Social Security Act as a new Medicaid state plan option that allows states to provide statewide home and community-based attendant services and supports to individuals who would otherwise require an institutional level of care. CFCO is an opportunity for Arkansas to take advantage of enhanced federal funding for community-based services for the elderly and people with disabilities.  It will allow them to receive the services they need to stay in their own homes, rather than be required to go to an institution or nursing home.

I’m going to make this real for you right now: Our family could no longer take care of Maddie so we had to the heart wrenching decision to place her in a nursing home. If we would have had the Community First Option we would have care in our home to help with Maddie. But, we didn’t and God has literally carried us through this process. My husband and I are blessed to work somewhere that supports us taking care of our kids. I had to take a lot of time off work to care for my kids. Most folks are not that lucky. Honestly if Maddie was home- I would have had to stay home. My job allows me to work around “Lauren’s” schedule in the summer- again we have very limited options for summer care. We do A-Camp from 8:30-11:30 in the summer 4 days a week. So, we leave Cabot at 7:50 arrive at Camp Aldersgate around 8:30 then I go to work in NLR till 11 then I drive back to pick up Lauren. Yeah, I am lucky my job allows me to be flexible. I also know that I am limited on jobs that would be that flexible. My husband leaves early each day so he can be home to get Lauren off the bus at 3:30. There is barely enough options/funding to provide afterschool care for all the "regular" children much less for a child as a severe as Lauren. I know I have rambled about a very small piece of why Community First Choice is important to us- thank you for listening. I won’t share our struggles with insurance for Lauren to receive speech therapy, have I mention that she is nonverbal?   There are number of reasons how CFC would provide a better life for families like ours.

John and I do “fear” of what life for Lauren will look like as adult. It’s going to be different and I hope people still care about her. I have the same hope that my friends and family will join us in supporting CFC.  

If the church people truly wants to serve the “least of these” – whom Jesus urged the Church to make a priority, are they not the disabled or special needs too?

 Thanks for reading and becoming more educated on a topic that the Bensen family is passionate about- we are all about making a difference in the lives of all children.  

Weight loss surgery to baby Feb update

It's already February.. Time is flying- So- a few weeks ago I was at a fellow staff member's home and saw a newsletter on the fridge talking about how we spend our time. It got me to thinking.. 1% of the average day is roughly 15 minutes. Do you spend 1% of your day working out? reading your bible? praying? working toward your goals? Often times when I say I just don't have time for _________.. I stop and think umm- is this important? If so then I make time for whatever... I mean we all have 2% of our day to take time for ourselves..


I had my 2nd appointment with the baby psychiatrist doctor this week. I was in a mood- first I was a few minutes late.. then the scales weight me in at 10+ pounds than usual... I told the doctor I thought his scales were crap- he says well, actually we occasionally adjust the scales to panic folks. Looks like it worked on you... Umm yeah, I did not think it was funny..  then he kept on with his humor- calling the baby (that is not been created) the "twinzies".. He thinks red headed twins would be so fun. I didn't really care for his humor- and he didn't stop calling the baby "twinzies".. I am rolling with it on the outside- but, inside I am like not one bit funny. Haha. I love babies but, the thought of having twins is overwhelming.. We did a lot things at the appointment- blood work and psych evaluation- He talks about stuff I never think about- like the plan to lose weight post pregnancy- He is committed to working with me. I guess I can get over his funny sense of humor.  haha.. I am totally off melatonin and using essential oils. I am a fan of Young Living essential oils- I hope to keep tracking my experience so I can share with you. I know to some folks it's hocus pocus- I understand. 




I have pretty "relaxed" about losing weight- it's been a while since i have made real progress. It's time to step on the train- and seriously finish what I started- how many times have I said that?? So, I am pretty much going hard core with weight loss the next 30 days. I have been making changes and not seeing weight loss- if this continues I will probably start checking in with doctors..  I need to do my part- tracking calories, seriously working out and and following the plan post surgery. 

My hubby John is a beachbody coach and has purchased the 3 day refresh for me. I start it Monday- Shakeology says: In just 3 short days, you can get your health, energy, and vitality back on track—all without starving. Don't worry, I am not expecting miracles- I think of it more like a cleanse. Then I plan to do a higher protein diet- which is what I am suppose to be doing.. I also am committing to 4 days of working out a week. I hope to do more.  I have worked to hard to not finish what I have started!!!  And, since I will gain weight during pregnancy- I need to be in shape before we get started.As far as our goals for 2015- we are standing strong. We finished our foster parent classes. We are eating better at home..  We are "gazelling" our way through debt. If you have not taken the time to learn about Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University- then let me step upon my soapbox- we did it as a part of our premarital counseling process- it is great. We got off track for about year or so but, we are more committed than ever- because we are committing to our budget we are able to travel and do things we had planned. By committing to our budget we are hitting our goals by decreasing debt- You can do it too!
So I know what you are thinking.. Rhonda is like one big networking scammer.. Haha. It's okay to think that.  More updates coming soon. Make sure you take time to make your goals happen!  

and I meet a "pregnancy" psychiatrist..

This is a continuation of the blog from “blogging in 2015.. a DO or a DON'T?”..

You know, where I announce we are on the journey of growing our family- not sure what God has planned but we trust him.

If you have read my blog at all- you know I am a fan of counseling/mental health/ therapy.. A friend introduced me to my therapist through weight loss surgery and I still recommend Patti to anyone and everyone.

Another form of therapy is is hair therapy. I was sitting in Kate's chair and a lady and I started talking about being pregnant and I told her I wasn't sure if it was in the cards because of my adderall and medication issues. She says oh girl- call UAMS Mental Health Services for Pregnant Women and get an appointment with Dr. Stowe. And that is how I ended up in the chair at Dr. Stowe's office several months later.

Dr. Stowe was very friendly and down to business. In one hour we covered everything- how I was raised, if I loved my husband, what meds I was taking, what sort of pregnancy I wanted and more. I walked out of there more informed than ever!!! We discussed in great detail my medical history and how it was going to affect a possible pregnancy. He was pretty much to the point- according to the timetable - aka my age- the time is sooner rather than later. 

So.. We started with the Adderall discussion.. He says John and I need to research the information he is giving us and go from there. There are several options for me. I am still praying about with my husband but, we are leaning to a clean pregnancy with no Adderall. 

We discussed my neck pain and meds I take for that. He had great recommendations for that. He was clear that neck pain would not get better with pregnancy. I need a breast reduction. I have several nerve issues in the neck vertebrates due to large chest. I had injections 2 years ago and it helped.  We all know that surgery will happen within 12-18 months post baby for breast reduction. Dr. Stowe says additional skin surgeries will happen. I am not sure I have faced that reality.

Then we discussed why I am taking melatonin. I said well, since meeting John sleep has been different. Kids are early birds, I am taking a stimulant, I have more stress, and it's a side effect of surgery. He says melatonin is not regulated by FDA good enough in his opinion and he does not trust it for pregnant women. ​I am off that and trying essential oils. So far it is working..

Our biggest challenge with pregnancy is treating my acid reflux- there is a chance it will cause some complication with a pregnancy. 

Of course Nutrition stabilization was another topic. So far my levels are between low and normal with meds- He says we will do blood work and be very diligent about me eating healthy and seeing where we are at levels over the next few months. He says I am in great shape for being 18 months post-surgery but, he says I need to finish losing my weight. Therefore, I will continue using shakeology, working out and hopefully  continue to meet my weight loss goals. 

So “bariatric surgery to baby” plan is still going strong. My goals I talked about in my previous post are also going great. I have not had any caffeinated sodas since January 4th. The only soda I have had is sprite zero. I also have only used a straw once and wow, major improvement in my reflux and calories from liquid. I stopped using a straw because of my wisdom teeth surgery. 

So that is the latest update. 

Stay tuned...  

goal setting/vision planning

Last year I shared with my husband one of my favorite "single girl" things.. A vision/action board. I got the idea from an Oprah show over 10 years ago. Basically you put some of your goals and dreams on a board and the board serves as a daily reminder. Hubby said we should do it. So we put some professional, health, personal, travel goals.. It hung on our wall and it was a good a visual.  We completed several goals in 2014 and felt like it was purposeful and intentional. Our children were healthier, we completed educational goals, we traveled to the beach..  

 Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to. That's me. I am always busy- I was born busy... I don't want to talk about doing something- I want to do it..

Back to our vision board...  Dream about it, envision how you will realistically do it or get it done, and then get up and make it happen. This year we are focusing on our health, budget, travel and preparing to grow our family. We have sat down and talk about the plans and we are excited about the future. 

The year just started it's not too late to set some realistic goals and make a change.