and I meet a "pregnancy" psychiatrist..

This is a continuation of the blog from “blogging in 2015.. a DO or a DON'T?”..

You know, where I announce we are on the journey of growing our family- not sure what God has planned but we trust him.

If you have read my blog at all- you know I am a fan of counseling/mental health/ therapy.. A friend introduced me to my therapist through weight loss surgery and I still recommend Patti to anyone and everyone.

Another form of therapy is is hair therapy. I was sitting in Kate's chair and a lady and I started talking about being pregnant and I told her I wasn't sure if it was in the cards because of my adderall and medication issues. She says oh girl- call UAMS Mental Health Services for Pregnant Women and get an appointment with Dr. Stowe. And that is how I ended up in the chair at Dr. Stowe's office several months later.

Dr. Stowe was very friendly and down to business. In one hour we covered everything- how I was raised, if I loved my husband, what meds I was taking, what sort of pregnancy I wanted and more. I walked out of there more informed than ever!!! We discussed in great detail my medical history and how it was going to affect a possible pregnancy. He was pretty much to the point- according to the timetable - aka my age- the time is sooner rather than later. 

So.. We started with the Adderall discussion.. He says John and I need to research the information he is giving us and go from there. There are several options for me. I am still praying about with my husband but, we are leaning to a clean pregnancy with no Adderall. 

We discussed my neck pain and meds I take for that. He had great recommendations for that. He was clear that neck pain would not get better with pregnancy. I need a breast reduction. I have several nerve issues in the neck vertebrates due to large chest. I had injections 2 years ago and it helped.  We all know that surgery will happen within 12-18 months post baby for breast reduction. Dr. Stowe says additional skin surgeries will happen. I am not sure I have faced that reality.

Then we discussed why I am taking melatonin. I said well, since meeting John sleep has been different. Kids are early birds, I am taking a stimulant, I have more stress, and it's a side effect of surgery. He says melatonin is not regulated by FDA good enough in his opinion and he does not trust it for pregnant women. ​I am off that and trying essential oils. So far it is working..

Our biggest challenge with pregnancy is treating my acid reflux- there is a chance it will cause some complication with a pregnancy. 

Of course Nutrition stabilization was another topic. So far my levels are between low and normal with meds- He says we will do blood work and be very diligent about me eating healthy and seeing where we are at levels over the next few months. He says I am in great shape for being 18 months post-surgery but, he says I need to finish losing my weight. Therefore, I will continue using shakeology, working out and hopefully  continue to meet my weight loss goals. 

So “bariatric surgery to baby” plan is still going strong. My goals I talked about in my previous post are also going great. I have not had any caffeinated sodas since January 4th. The only soda I have had is sprite zero. I also have only used a straw once and wow, major improvement in my reflux and calories from liquid. I stopped using a straw because of my wisdom teeth surgery. 

So that is the latest update. 

Stay tuned...  

goal setting/vision planning

Last year I shared with my husband one of my favorite "single girl" things.. A vision/action board. I got the idea from an Oprah show over 10 years ago. Basically you put some of your goals and dreams on a board and the board serves as a daily reminder. Hubby said we should do it. So we put some professional, health, personal, travel goals.. It hung on our wall and it was a good a visual.  We completed several goals in 2014 and felt like it was purposeful and intentional. Our children were healthier, we completed educational goals, we traveled to the beach..  

 Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to. That's me. I am always busy- I was born busy... I don't want to talk about doing something- I want to do it..

Back to our vision board...  Dream about it, envision how you will realistically do it or get it done, and then get up and make it happen. This year we are focusing on our health, budget, travel and preparing to grow our family. We have sat down and talk about the plans and we are excited about the future. 

The year just started it's not too late to set some realistic goals and make a change. 

blogging in 2015.. a DO or a DON'T?

I have neglected my blog for 2014. It wasn’t on purpose. It just happened. Life happens. So, as I start another year I thought- is the blog dying or do I share with the world my next step in “Life after bariatric surgery”?

And I think that there is pros and cons to sharing a really personal experience with the world. I have found that I do in fact enjoy writing about the different experiences I am having on this journey- however I do not do well with admitting failure. I also like that when a friend is going through surgery I have blogged and shared the real deal- I promise you my memory is not the same as the experience that actually happened!!!  Ha ha!

Then I question what is my motivation in blogging? Accountability? Selfish reasons? Distraction from real life? Sharing my expertise?  To have meaningful conversation? Changing the world?  To be more popular? To serve as my personal journal? I believe the reason I blog is because I want to live a more intentional life. I want to inspire others. I want people to learn from my experiences.

If you are choosing to read this next part- I need you to read the rest of this post. Do not call my granny and tell her something untrue.

So, with the “ok” from my husband he has encouraged me to blog  from “bariatric surgery to baby”.  We are not pregnant. We are not even trying to have a baby (yet). We are simply prayerfully considering the possibility. We are actually preparing to become foster parent certified. 

It was strongly suggested that I get an IUD as birth control method when I decided to have weight loss surgery. Best decision ever.  They said you sex drive goes from blah to I am a horny teenager.  (They were right!!)

I have not felt the rush to have a baby but, reality is I am 35 and I am not getting any younger. John and I are completely content with adoption however, we feel that our window to have a baby is about to be open so we need to explore this option. If we get through 2015 and decide it’s not meant to be- we will be okay. God has a plan.

So, in this process of deciding "should we talk about having a baby"- we realized several things:

• 1.       Adderall and baby don’t mix so they say. (I love my Adderall.)
• 2.       I should wait 18 months post-surgery to have a baby. (In January, I will be at 18 months)
• 3.       I need to lose the rest of my weight and be stable before getting pregnant.  (somewhere between 40 and 60 pounds)
• 4.       I need to be nutritionally sound. (Be off nutritional supplements)
• 5    What are the chances of us having a special needs kid.. (We love our 2 kids but, we need to be honest with ourselves)

So,  I am addressing these 5 things in my upcoming blog posts. I met with a psychiatrist this week to discuss these plans. That was a great visit and hope to blog about it soon.   In the meantime, I have chosen 12/31/14 as the day to get my wisdom teeth removed. Therefore, blogging will have to wait a few more days.

 Be safe on this last day of 2014 and make the most of 2015!  In the words of Dolly Pardon: "You'll never do a whole lot unless you're brave enough to try."

Finishing what your started

I have been avoiding the truth. If I blog about it - it must be true.  Since returning from our spring break vacation I have been in a weight loss stall. Layman's terms "I am not losing weight according to the scales". What's wrong? Why is this happening? Is the weight loss done?  Am I giving up and a failure? 

I am reflecting on the past year. One year ago yesterday, I celebrated with co workers at a  friend's/co workers wedding. I like weddings that reflect personality and not "society's pressures"...  I remember the rainy wedding day and I was miserable and fat feeling. (Just being honest)..  But, Katie's wedding had Katie and Kyle's personality etched in the details. So, back on topic.. I am so thankful for my progress in the past year! I will not beat myself up over this stall... What's crazy is my body continues to shift or redistributed fat around. Some days a shirt I bought in March will be too big and other days jeans are looser than normal.  

Everyone says stalls or plateaus are very normal with any weight loss... While that doesn't mean I like them or appreciate them. The real deal is while I am experiencing this stall I need to continue to be focused and make good decisions. It's a new month and it's time to kick this stall to the curb....  I have read several helpful articles but, this article was really helpful.  I know I am wasting some calories and I am also getting laxed in my day to day eating. But, recently I read where a fellow WLS friend says that proper water intake takes time to build up. Duh. Why hadn't I thought of that? So, I am starting with small water goals and adding 10 ounces each day. I am also going to make sure I am eating better... I also plan to start back to working out with Josh my personal trainer D1. Hopefully, doing these things will put me back on track.    

I am probably 35 pounds from my next goal. I am ready to get there but, I know that it won't easy with my schedule for the summer changing. In the summer, I become a personal taxi driver for my kiddos and life is just different. So, there is where I am at with this journey of weight loss...

But, don't worry I am not finished with my journey and this verse reminds me of this...

 James 1:2 (MSG) Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. 5-8 If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.